They maketh me to lie down by my monitor:

They leadeth me beside the mailing lists.

They begat the very daylight out of me:

They leadeth me in the local Liquorland for Their name' sake.

Yea, though I email through the BMML in the shadow of the Love Token,

I will fear no evil: For the Soapbox makes me wee;

His rod and His staff, they amuse me.

He preparest a Westinghouse Twin Tub before me in the presence of his cage keepers;

He annointest my head with sachharine; He pisses up walls.

Surely Roger and John shall follow me all the days of my life,

or I will vomit in the House of the Lord forever.