"Thou art a fine specimen of an Albatross!" he declareth.

"Thou musteth thusly be-eth the finest Albatross in all the Lands!" he spaketh.

"That forthwith wouldeth not be thusly difficulteth, for there art but a few Albatross remainingeth in all the Lands!" sayeth John the Mysterious wisely.

"How doth thee knoweth of such things?" asketh Brian the Wise "For it art thee, Brian the Wise, who art God of All Things Wise and thee art supposed to just invent stuff!"

Well, they art a prized bird among prophets. Many prophets haveth their own prize Albatross" sayeth John the Mysterious.

"Nay! They can ne'er hath a bird as fine-eth as Rocky!" declareth Brian the Wise.

"Ah, but thateth they can. And they do-eth!" sayeth John the Mysterious.

"Nay, Thy believeth thee not!" sayeth Brian the Wise, for He thought no Albatross as fine-eth as Rocky. "But why-eth then, art there so few Albatross? Surely prophets can ne'er hath capturedeth them all!"

"Nay, but alas,longlining killeth more than 300,000 seabirds each year!"

"Pray tell, what art a longlineth?" asketh Brian the Wise.

"It art a longeth line with thousands of hooks baited and draggeth behind fishing vessels" sayeth John the Mysterious, alas, thee inventeth the longethline for Roger the Divine to go-eth fishing with."

"How couldeth thee thusly inventeth such a thing!" shouted Brian the Wise, outragedeth.

"Of what thee weret doing thee knoweth not" sayeth John the Mysterious, sadly.

"Then thee and thou must doeth something to stoppeth this at once! Stoppeth! Please Stoppeth!" cried Brian the Wise.

"But whateth can We do-eth?" asketh John the Mysterious and ordered a cup of tea for he weret verily thirsty after talkething so much, for talkething that much He weret not used to.

"Thee musteth bring unto the multitudes of fishermen there, awareness of the plight of the poor Albatross!" sayeth Brian the Wise, wisely.

"But how?" asketh Roger the Divine.

"Well, Roger the Divine, thee musteth stoppeth using that longethline at once! And thee musteth telleth the multitudes there that thee will ne'er useth it again!" declareth Brian the Wise.

"That willeth not be enough to stoppeth them!" declareth the Lord God Freddie "Thee needeth unto do-eth something flashy and fabulous to maketh the multitudes there taketh notice! 'Tis but whateth thee do-eth!"

"Then We shall haveth a BIGGETH BIRD RACE!" sayeth Brian the Wise

'A what?" asketh The Lord God Freddie.

'A BIGGETH BIRD RACE!" decreed Brian the Wise "For thy fine Albatross, Rocky, art sureth to win! And then thy Gods and the multitudes there willest knoweth that Rocky art the most fabulous Albatross of them all!" Brian the Wise statedeth jubilantly.

"But howeth can thee raceth birds? Of racing tracks they knoweth not!" sayeth Roger the Divine, incredulously.

"Ah, thee shall see-eth! And Brian the Wise asketh the Gods to gather round for He weret in Wise Mode.

"The Albatross hath one of the world's longest migrations - 6,000 miles acrosseth the seven seas' he sayeth wisely.

"Nay, not seven" sayeth John the Mysterious.

"Silence!" sayeth Brian the Wise, and he continuedeth, "This shall thusly be the courseth of the race! Major hurdles haveth they, to overcome - Takething flight frometh Basseth Straight (the first expanse of water), Great Antipodes Bight (Whereupon they hath Great White Antipodian Sharks), the Roaringeth Forties (hypothermia-eth and wrathful storms) the vast expanseth of the Southern Ocean (they caneth loseth their way) and then they musteth maketh it unto the Benguela Current."

"The birds of all the prophets shall enter the race and the multitudes willeth thusly follow the action from the website setteth up by thee in Adobeth Photoshop and betteth upon the race, and all profits willeth thusly go-eth to future seabird conservation projects!" Brian the Wise shouted triumphantly.

"John the Mysterious willeth invent an electronic satellite tracking device, which willeth thusly be-eth attachedeth to each bird!"

John the Mysterious did quickly scurry away thither yonder with His pipecleaners.

And then He cameth back with His new invention.

"What nameth doth thou giveth thus invention?" asked Brian the Wise.

"A jockeyeth!" declareth John the Mysterious.

And it was so.

"Thee shall thusly scribe the entry forms at once!" declared Brian the Wise and did hastily set to work.