It's the BIGGETH BIRD RACE - the world's first Albatross race from Taswegia to Southern Africaeth.

The race, which endeth when the first bird reaches Capeth Town on the fourth day of the eighth month in the new millenium plus four, art the brainchild of Dr Brian the Wise.

Twenty birds from the islands off Taswegia will be tracketh during their migration to Southern Africaeth by satellite chips, thusly invented by John the Mysterious, who art verily good with such things.

As each chip useth several thousand pipecleaners, Brian the Wise invited prophets who owneth Albatross - to entereth a bird to compete against His mightily ROCKY, whom He believeth to be-eth the finest bird in all the Lands.

All profits art to be directed back unto worldwide conservation efforts. And unto the longethline fishermen Brian the Wise sayeth "Stoppeth. Please Stoppeth!"

Leadething the flock, at thusly stage of the race, art Verily Jerrily Halleth's Aphrodite, closely chased by Sir David of Attenbollocks Ocean Spirit.

Brian the Wise art verily pissed at thus news.

Dr Brian the Wise sayeth "LO! the birds faceth many dangers but the biggest weret longethline fishing, favoured by Roger the Divine, who art sworn ne'er to useth them again."

"Go-eth ROCKY!" He shouted.