Lo! The gas in our intestines come-eth from several sources: air we doth thusly swallow, Albacore Tuna we eateth, gas seeping into our intestines whence our blood doth boil, gas produceth by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produceth from the hot air of sniping bitch scribes.

What maketh anal orbs to stink?

The odor of anal orbs cometh from small amounts of hydrogen sulfideth gas and mercapethtans in the mixture. It art similar to the mixture Thee useth for Roger the Divines Diet Juice. These compoundeths containeth sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole, tuna and frankincenseth also addeth unto the stench-eth of anal orbs. The more sulfur-rich thou diet, the more sulfidethes and mercapethtans wilst be-eth produceth by the bacteria in thy guts, and the more thy orbs wilst stink. Cauliflower, eggs and meat produce-eth verily potent orbs.

Whoforeart cut the cheese?

Why doth emitting orbs maketh a noise?

The sounds art produceth by the flapping of the butt cheeks.

How much orbital matter doth a normal person pass per day?

A person produceth about half a litre of orbs per day. The maketh an average of about fourteen daily orbs. Thou canst keep track of thou daily numerical orb count with this easy Brian the Wise science fair project: -
Keepeth a journal of everything thou eat-eth and count-eth of thy orbs.
Thou canst also maketh note of the potency of their odor and the depth-eth of their color.
See if thou canst discover-eth a relationship between-eth what thou dost eat and how many orbs thou dost emit.
Email thy findings unto Thee.

Art it true that some people ne'er produce-eth anal orbs?

Nay, not if they art alive! It art sayeth that thou canst still produce-eth anal orbs even after death.

Do even movie stars emit orbs?

Yea, of course-eth! So doth thy grandmother! Even Yoda doth produce-eth verily good anal orbs.

Doth men produce-eth more anal orbs than women?

Nay! women produce-eth as many anal orbs as men. Men expel-eth more often than women but the women art saving it up and expellething more orbs per expulsion than men do-eth.

At what time of day art a gentleman most likely to fart?

A gentleman doth nay fart. Thee art spakething of orbs - not farts!

What things can maketh a person to emit more orbs?

Cokethacola and Vodka.

Art all this hot air about orbs really just farting?

Nay! They art completethly different. Orbs art a verily complex-eth scientific discovery-eth by Thyself! It art in nay way relateth unto a fart!

Art it harmful to hold in orbs?

Yea! It canst causeth hemorrhoids.

Doth people expel-eth orbs in their sleep?

Thee hath maketh of a scientific study of this and yea - it art thusly a fact-eth! People whoforeart thusly refuse-eth to vent-eth of their daily orbs doth hath nay control o'er their sphincters at nigh - therefore they expel-eth orbs at a phenomenalus rate.

How can one cover up an orb?

And the Holy Queeble sayeth : Thou shalt not disguise-eth of thine orbs!
But there art a Brian the Wise invention-eth that art nameth thusly : FARTYIUSPANTS !
Lo! It art undergarmenteths designeth to absorb the odor of orbs. If thou shouldst be-eth caught without thy Fartyiuspants, thou shouldst thusly blame-eth the dog.

Art it possible to ignite orbs?

Yea! This art knoweth in wise circles as solar storms.

Doth fish expel-eth orbs?

Yea, except-eth Albacore Tuna.

What kind of animal hath the highest worldwide output of orbitus?

Believe-eth it or nay, the animal that win-eth this honor art the humble termite.
Termite orbs art a major contributor towardeth global warming.

Art it verily weird to enjoy-eth orbing?

It art nay unusual to enjoy-eth orbing. I, Brian the Wise, doth love a good orb.
If thou suppress thou orbs 'twill surely create-eth unhappiness and then a visit unto thy doctor wilst be-eth in order!

PS I, Brian the Wise, art a Doctor.

What color art orbs?

Orbs art presumeth to be-eth colorless. But according unto Thy studies, all of the gases and plasmas that maketh an orb containeth bright colors, liketh orange, green, pink and so-eth forth! It certainly doth taketh the mystery out of who orbethed! Ha ha-eth!

If thou wert in space without a suit, wouldst an anal orb hath the energy to propel-eth thee forward?

Yea! An anal orb shouldst thusly propel-eth ye forward, since there art virtually nay opposing force in the form of friction or gravity to counteract the force of the anal orb. Looketh at the Big Bang. Thee still sayeth it wert Roger the Divine who produceth the first anal orb and ye canst thusly see-eth what that didst!

Art it possible to freeze anal orbs, and wouldst they still be-eth smelly after they art defrosteth?

Lo! The water vapor componenteth of anal orbs wouldst freeze quite readily, but to freeze the entire anal orb wouldst thusly require-eth high pressure-eth and low temperature conditions such as that used to produce-eth dry ice. The anal orb composition wouldst thusly be-eth unchanged by the process, and henceforthwith wouldst still be-eth smelly upon reversion unto the gaseous state.

Whereforeart doth The Holy Queeble sayeth 'thou shalt not disguise-eth of thine orbs?

Somewhere at the back.