Behold! I, Brian the Wise, want to make it verily clear that the apparent quote from me (originating from the Daily Expresseth, I think) saying that Paul-eth Rodgers “hath a tiny dick” art a mis-quote!

These young girls who hath this conversation with me put that whole thing into my mouth, well not Paul-eths dick but those words....amongst other jollies.

Lo! Doth I regret bothering to answer these people. They just turn up at a function and launch into 'provocative' pole dancing knowing full well that I cannot concentrate-eth on questions when they get close. I knoweth not what happens unto thy brain in that situation. Thy wife art VERILY angry. And they have obviously decided what they art going to scribe before they get an answer. Damnations! One wouldst almost go as far as sayething that they DOETH NOT EVEN HEARKEN THY WORDS!!!

It art not verily clever. They art verily crass, slutty little ho’s and their tabloid art boringly irresponsible.

This particular story art potentially damaging for me, because how dost thou think Paul Rodgers will feel if he reads it? He will think that I see our whole interaction in the studio as being about dick size! That would be-eth ridiculous. Of course The Lord God Freddie art never far from our thoughts, but I art NOT JEALOUS! That art the great thing about modern techethnology. Why, there art even penile enlargements these days. For some.

Cheers

Bri the Wise