"Docketh us into harbour Oh Roger the Divine so that we may regaineth our land legs and cleaneth the decks of vomit and empty vodka bottles" sayeth Lord God Freddie Mercury. "Art thou ready to spread the word of the Queeble to all manner of tribesmen and tribeswomen of this land we approacheth?"

"Ready" replieth John the Mysterious as John the Mysterious was wont to replieth in short sentences.

"Can'st thou speaketh in more eloquence Oh John the Mysterious as thine words are mysterious and thou art wise but not as wise as Brian the Wise who is more wise than all manner of creatures on earth and in heaven"

"Whatever" sayeth John the Mysterious and it was so.

"Then henceforth we shall travel and henceforth the tribesmen and tribeswomen of this great land will recieve the word of the Queeble and shall be instructed in begatting and begotting and shall praise our heavenly bodies and assuage our heavenly appetites for it is written that it will be so and if it is so then the written word is so and so it is and so it shall be and so it forever was and the writing will begat the written body of heaven and it will be so if it is deemed to be so......"

"Shut up Lord God Freddie Mercury" speaketh Roger the Divine, "thy soundeth like a twat and I do hearken to twats only when they soundeth not. What is this great land we approacheth Oh Brian the Wise, he who knoweth all and who telleth all?"

"The land before thine eyes art great and wide and holdeth many treasures and wonders and art beautiful and serene and doth give forth multitudes of beasts and herbs and the tribesmen are friendly and hold great intelligence and do care for all manner of beasts and herbs and liveth in this great land and this great land art known as Australia and Australia art this great land knowneth as and great art Australia and the land of Australia art wide and great"

"Do they groweth the Vodka tree in this great land Oh Brian the Wise" asketh the Lord God Freddie Mercury.

"The Vodka Tree groweth in plenty in this great wide land and the tree of Vodka doth bear many and plentiful fruit and the tribesmen do tend the crop and do nourish the tree of Vodka with water and tilling and toiling and eskys".

"Eskys?" questionedeth John the Mysterious as John the Mysterious needeth only to questioneth with one word and the word of John the Mysterious was Eskys and Eskys was the word and it was so. And Brian the Wise did nod sagely thus and the nod of Brian the Wise was sage and the Gods of Lesser Knowledge did nod sagely at Brian the Wise because they did not wanteth to appear stupid.

"Let us go forth and meet the tribesmen and tribeswomen and spread the word of Queeble and give lessons to the young tribeswomen in begatting as we are the Gods, my friends" and so set forth Roger the Divine who hath overcome his fear of water and doth walketh across the water at a very quickened pace to greet the young tribeswomen who art waiting on the shore.

The young tribeswomen of Australia were anxious and hath forgotten to clothe the upper half of their bodies and Roger the Divine did lay his hands on the upper halves of the tribeswomen and did bless them for their anxiety and did heal the afflictions of the women with his hands as he hath been taught by Jim the Beach who art wise but not as wise as Brian the Wise. "There art much work to be done in this great land and I will devote myself to healing the young tribeswomen of this great and wide land for I art Roger the Divine and they art big titted and in need of Queebling"

"And I will devote myself to healing the young tribesmen of this land which art great and wide and which beareth sturdy young males with magnificent and solid muscles and tight buns and I shall spread much Queebleness to those who kneel before me for I am the Lord God Freddie Mercury and it art my duty".

"And I will devote myself to building a bridge for the tribespeople of this great and wide land for I art good with pipecleaners and the tribespeople do needeth a bridge to swing frometh for I art John the Mysterious and pipecleaners art my blessing".

"I will help the tribespeople toil and till and water and fill the eskys with the fruit of the Vodka tree for I art Brian the Wise and I do knoweth all manner of everything and do care for all manner of everything and do knoweth that thine tribespeople of Australia do fill eskys with Vodka bottles"

And so it was and so was it.

And the Lord God Freddie Mercury and Roger the Divine and John the Mysterious begat and begot and built bridges and it was good and the tribespeople did bow down before them and did worship them and did beg them for more begatting and begotting and bridge building and the Gods did toil hard except for John the Mysterious who declareth "No Bridge Shall Be Built to Tasmania for Tasmania Art the Land of Six Fingered Beasts" and it was so.

Brian the Wise journeyed for forty days and for forty nights across the great wide land to find the tree of Vodka and to administer help to all who tilled and toiled and watered the tree but he could find it not and so was depressed....again.

"Wherefore lieth the Vodka tree?" Brian the Wise did ponder as sleep approacheth him on the fortieth night. Jim the Beach did appear in a dream to Brian the Wise and did admonish Brian the Wise for being depressedeth and did sayeth unto Brian the Wise "Get real thyfool, the tree grows in Russia. This art Australia. They drinketh beer" and Brian the Wise did awaken with a great knowledge and did hurrieth to the Gods of Lesser Knowledge with his new knowledge and did spread the wisdom of Jim the Beach unto the Gods of Lesser Knowledge and did cause them to snicker and laugh for the Gods do liketh to snicker and laugh at Brian the Wise.

"Wrong again, eh Bri?" sayeth John the Mysterious for John the Mysterious did relax and let forth more than one word in this great and wide land.

"What art thou next plan Brian the Wise?" crieth Roger the Divine who did begat without end for it was his duty as a God unto the topless tribeswomen of the great wide land.

"I shall go forth and create a Vodka tree for the brown tribespeople of the inland who art not Beer Drinkers and I shall giveth unto the brown tribespeople of the inland all manner of Vodka and I shall teach them to till and toil and water the tree of Vodka and to partake of it's fruit and to administer the Vodka to the sick and frail and children of the inland for the Fruit of the Tree of Vodka art my blessing to the brown tribespeople of the inland of this great and wide land knowneth as Australia and that art my blessing and my blessing art that."

And it was so and so it came to pass that the brown tribespeople of the inland did partake of the Vodka and did move toward the outland where the Beer Drinker tribespeople lived and did grow more Vodka trees and did partake of more Vodka and did curse those Beer Drinkers who did not partake of the fruit of the Vodka tree and did administer the Vodka to their sick and frail and children and did do Brian the Wise's bidding for Brian was wise and his bidding was done.

And the children of the brown tribespeople of the inland did congregate at the waters edge near the great bridge built by John the Mysterious in the land known as Redfern and did gather up rocks and sticks and beer cans from eskys and knives and Vodka bottles and did throw them forcefully at the Beer Drinkers for the Beer Drinkers did not drink of the Fruit of the Vodka Tree and were not disciples of Brian the Wise and the Beer Drinkers were afraid and did hide and did curse the Vodka Tree Tribespeople and did protect themselves with their eskys.

A great war did developeth and the Gods of Lesser Knowledge did crieth out "Run Away, Run Away" and did leave their Godly duties and walk on water to the Rainbow Worrier and did haul anchor very quickly and did call for Brian the Wise to "Moveth thou arse" but Brian the Wise hath partaken of the Vodka in a lesson he delivereth and did not heed the call and so the great pet Pavarotti the Fat Arsed Whale was let free to deliver Brian the Wise to the Rainbow Worrier as none of the brown tribespeople or Beer Drinkers hath developed the taste of whale yet but did enjoy Albacore Tuna on Jatz crackers.

The crew of the Really Worrisome did harken to the ruckus and did clamour for photographic images of the great pet Pavarotti the Fat Arsed Whale delivering Brian the Wise to the Rainbow Worrier and did crieth out "Whateth in helleth was that all about?" to which Roger the Divine did replieth "ahhh...it was a mistake. Actually, it was Brian's idea" and Pavarotti the Pet Fat Arsed Whale did gush forth a plume of water to deliver Brian the Wise to the deck and it was so.

"And what do thy say now Brian the Wise to the brown tribespeople of the inland and unto the Beer Drinkers? hmmmmmm??" calleth the Lord God Freddie Mercury, Roger the Divine and John the Mysterious when Brian the Wise did awaken from his concussion of the coccyx.

"Sayeth Sorry Brian"

And it was so.