Oh woe art Thee! Why, oh why art I left with so many copies of BIGGUS BANG!© ??

Thy stockroom art full unto the brim.

What doth it take to get this fickle public to buy-eth Thy book? Stupid morons.

Lo! Did I not instructeth them to buy copies for all their friends for Christmess? Why do they not hearken unto Thy words? Must I beg? Wait! I did! Brian the Wise DID practically beg them to buy BIGGUS BANG!© Did I not asketh them to buy two copies?

Pah! These bloody commoners art more stupid than I gave them credit for. What do they spend their money on?

Oh, the pent up RAGE inside Thee. I art so ANGRY I think I will burst. This art one of the most important literary works of all time and it art sitting in piles up to the ceiling in Thy stockroom!

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID MORONS! A thousand times stupid. Nay! A million times stupid.

To hell with them all, smite them to eternity. A pestilence upon the Earth. I hereby declare it AGAINST THE LAW not to own a copy of BIGGUS BANG!©

Must I suffer the indignation of BIGGUS BANG!© Going straight to the Sale Bins?

Doforeart the plebians not want the benefit of Thy Knowledge©?

Patrick, oh Patrick! The shame. I should ne’er hath hearkened to Patrick. It wert all his stupid idea. Patrick and his stupid ‘jollies’. How bloody jolly do you feel now Patrick? THOU WANKER! Patrick the big knoweth-it-all. Patrick the thorn in Thy side! Patrick, thou fat toad!