Yea, dear folks, I spent about 2 and a half hours today scribbling furiously on people's BIGGUS BANG! books, chatting, and shaking hands (you know - after about 400 handshakes I get totally sick of it! Oh-eth, so ye think ye must impress me with a grip of iron! HELLO!?! I art a GUITAR PLAYER! Do-eth not crush Thy hand! And to the sick bastards who wear fabulous scratchy rings .... that hurts you idiots !! Have-eth some consideration!)

I have to say 76.23 per cent of the folks who came wert wonderfully nice, and considerate, and kind and suitably humbled. The rest of ye – I hate and despise!

There wert not as many as I thought there would be though. I really appreciate those who queued up for hours in the cold, especially the guys who were there from 3am ! Unbelievable (not!) ! I art so worth it!. Behold! Suffer the little children for ye met ME!

Of course there art always a few sniping bitches who want to take advantage - the obvious Q-bay sewer-rats, and the smart ARSES who try to get thee to sign their entire heavy metal vinyl collection (that hurts too), and the ones who insist upon thee writing a whole essay as well signing, and so keep everyone waiting twice as long in the cold. YOU STUPID IGNORANT BASTARDS. Why don’t you all just GO AWAY! Dost thou not knoweth how sore and tired Thy hands become? A pestilence upon ye!

But on the whole, ALMOST everyone wert really considerate. The rest of you should lift your game and realise ye art dealing with A GOD!

It wert a GREAT experience – THANKS BE UPON YE SO MUCH – BUY-ETH MORE BOOKS!

So many of thou wert a joy to meet. Verily satisfying. And some of ye now hath nice Banging Christmess presents !!

PS: Nay! That art NOT a secret stereographical spy camera insertedeth into the front cover. Patrick doth not get his Jollies that way!