And so thither the young Gods were baptized in the river Thames by Jim the Beach, and their Godly powers were instilled in them and they kneweth then, even though they art very young, that they hath a job to do on earth. The young Gods kneweth that they must preach the WORD OF THE QUEEBLE to the masses and teacheth them the way of the QUEEBLE and set them on the path of Queebleness....for it is written.

Jim The Beach, who knew their mother well, but hath not laid eyes upon the young Gods afore this day, thought they were dressed in really silly clothes.

"Who dresseth thee?" asked Jim The Beach of the young Gods. "Why, Mother doeth" replied The Young God Freddie, "She designeth our clothes herself for she art very arty" . "Oh" said Jim The Beach, who thought they looked very camp "Well you better not get them dirty:" he said and lo, the heavens were opened unto the earth and pisseth down it dideth.

"Oh, bloody hell" cried Jim The Beach, "right in the middle of a bloody good baptism! What will your mother sayeth! Come thither unto my cave young Gods, and get out of this rain or thy mother will haveth a fit".

So the young Gods followed Jim The Beach unto his cave and did remark on his lewd paintings upon the walls. "Cor blimey!" spake young Roger, to which Jim The Beach replied "Ere, you young devil, no need to be lookin' at that now young Rog" and he dideth cuff Roger under the earhole.

"Dry thineselves, young Gods, and cometh and sit by the fire" spake Jim The Beach "whilst I serve thee some locusts and yaks milk".

"But we liketh the vodka" protested The Young God Freddie.

"Thouest youngsters shall not partake of vodka whilst thou art under this roof" warned Jim the Beach "now sit there and shuteth up whilst I fixeth thine meals" and he went off to the camp fire.

"Wow, check this out" said young Johnny The Almost Mysterious, "what are these funny smelling cigarettes?"

"And what art this stuff? cried The Young God Freddie, pullling his head out of a giant urn.

"Look at these strange undergarments" exclaimed Brian The Not Really Wise Yet, "I wonder what funny lady would wear these, they're not at all like Mummys"

And lo, did not Jim the Beach walk back unto the room with a tray of freshly baked locusts and he saweth what the young Gods were up to and he was smite. "Get thy noses out of thine stuff" he cried "and siteth up on the big rock and eat of thy dinner at once" "Thou hast no mind to be poking in stuffeth that doest not concern thee, thou art too young, thou knowest not of such things. Thou art not acteth like young Gods, thou art acteth like naughty boys. Now eat thy food and goeth home to thy mother!"

"But I doeth not like locusts" sulked Brian The Not Really Wise Yet.

"EAT" commanded Jim The Beach and the young Gods dideth eat for they knew they would receiveth a lashing around the arse should they not.

"Hark" cried John the Almost Mysterious "someone cometh unto your cave Mr Jim The Beach"

"Ah yes" blushed Jim the Beach "These nice ladies have come to visit thee so hurry up with thy food young Gods and hurry along home"

"Why art they wearing so little clothing?" asked Roger the Divinely Cute.

"YOUNG GODS!" roared Jim the Beach, who was very embarrassed, "MINE THINE OWN BUSINESS, EAT THY LOCUSTS AND BE OFF HOME TO THY MOTHER"

The young Gods fled out the cave entrance and ran home to mother.

"Brian The Not Really Wise Yet!!!" exclaimed Mother Zhandra, although she preferred Mary for it was more virginal, "Look at your beautiful silk bat wing shirt!. What art thou been doing? And Freddie The Young God, look at your leotards! Roger The Divinely Cute, thou art torn a great hole in the arse of thine tiger pants! John The Almost Mysterious, thou art sopping wet! Where art thou boys beenest? Get thee into the batheth!!"

"We hath been baptized in the River Thames by Jim The Beach" spake Freddie The Young God "and lo the heavens opened and pisseth down it did, so unto the cave of Jim The Beach we wenteth for shelter and a jolly good feed of locusts, Mother dear."

"You went to the cave of Jim The Beach?" excaimed Mother Zhandra. "Brian The Not Nearly As Wise As He Should Be ate LOCUSTS????? That art very strange!"

"Yes we dideth" spake John The Almost Mysterious "Jim The Beach hath many wondrous things, but what they art for we knoweth not!"

"Jim the Beach spake very sternly to us Mother dear and did cuffeth Roger under thine earhole, I do not think well of Jim The Beach" spake John The Almost Mysterious.

"Hark! Do not spaketh such things of Jim The Beach! For he hath been very good to thou Mother, for dideth I not have to raise four young Gods as a single mother! It hath not been easy for thee and Jim The Beach hath been very, er, kind!" spake Mother Zhandra somewhat embarrassed.

"Some very strange looking women cometh to visit Jim The Beach too Mother dear" explaineth Freddie The Young God "Why doest they behave so Mother dear?"

"Yes" spake Brian The Not Wise At All Yet, "Looketh like Big Fateth Fanny the Naughty Nanny, they dideth"

"Ah my young boys" spake Mother Zhandra, "Of such things thee knoweth not much, thou art young and innocent but thee art growing fast and thee must learn the wayeth of the world for thou art still wet behind thine ears. Go forth, ye must and learneth to becometh men amongeth men for that art thou destiny. Read this book on anatomy and bananas, pack ye some sandwiches and thou knapsacks and thou must leaveth thine home" spake Mother Zhandra tearfully, "Ye shall taketh ye best satin pants and remembereth to wear clean undergarments and taketh a clean hanky".

And it was so.

The young Gods set off with their knapsacks and sandwiches on the path to becometh Gods amongeth men.

Then the young Gods were led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. And when they had eaten all the sandwiches they hath no food for forty days and they hungered. And the tempter came and said unto them, If thou art young Gods, command that these stones become bread. But they answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of Gods. Then the devil taketh them into the holy city of London; and he set them on the pinnacle of the temple, and saith unto them, If thou art Gods, cast thyselves down: for it is written,

The young Gods said unto him, Again it is written, Thou shalt not make trial of the Lord thy Gods. Again, the devil taketh them unto an exceeding high mountain, and showeth them all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; and he said unto them, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. Then saith the young Gods unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy Gods, and them only shalt thou serve. Then the devil leaveth them; and behold, angels came and ministered unto them.

From that time began the Young Gods to preach, and to say, Repent ye; for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

And walking by the English Channel, they saw two brethren, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishers. And they saith unto them, Come ye after us, and we will make you fishers of men. And they straightway left the nets, and followed them. And going on from thence they saw two other brethren, in the boat with their father, mending their nets; and he called them. And they straightway left the boat and their father, and followed the young Gods.

And the Young Gods went about in all England, preaching the the word of the Queeble, and healing all manner of disease and all manner of sickness among the people. And the report of them went forth into all Northern Europe: and they brought unto them all that were sick, holden with divers diseases and torments, possessed with demons, and epileptic, and palsied; and they healed them. And there followed them great multitudes from England and Europe, America and Russia, Japan and China and even from the antipodes: New Zealand and Australia.

And seeing the multitudes, they went up into the mountains:

"How shalleth we preach unto the multitudes" asked Brian The Not Very Wise Yet, "They cometh to us for the WORD"

"We shall maketh instruments and singeth to them" cried The Young God Freddie "We shall be spectacular for we want to be dandy! We shall put on a show, Mother hath us looking like stars that shineth so we just need instruments....luckily for thee, thou brought that fireplace Brian The Not Very Wise Yet! Thee can maketh a guitar! And Roger, ye shall use these coconuts to maketh drums and John The Almost Mysterious can make anything out of these pipe cleaners!" We art almost ready!"

"What a grand idea" spake Roger The Divinely Cute, "I shall be a sex symbol Impress the women like Jim The Beach shall I "

Then let it be so" declared the young God Freddie. We shall be foreart known as Queen and we shall spread the word of the Holy Queeble through our shows."

"What sort of a poofy name is that?" demanded Brian The Not Really Wise Yet for he thought it silly and thought they shouldeth be called Silly Grin.

"Why, art it not a regal name? Art is not majestic? It showeth that we art to be grand! Gods amongeth men!" commanded the young God Freddie.

And it was so.