And Brian the Wise ascended the Great Detergent Vat and didst spake unto the people.

"Behold! Taketh out thy notebooks and jot-eth this down. There art a new commandment !
LO! None shall hearken unto the words of the Bay-eth City Rollers. Yea, they doth weareth of silly costumes and doeth the Riverdance. Batwings and Cauldrons!
Who-eth in their right mind would want to go-eth to witness Riverdance?!?
Thee knoweth Thee wouldst thusly hath to be-eth dragged along kicking and screaming and crying! Ha! Ha!
And Thee haveth a sneaking suspicion they weareth no underpants! Shame be upon them.
This art blasphemous in the most foul! Shame be-eth upon all who-eth-so-ever scribeth books about them, especially if thou name art Caroline.
And wrath be upon all ye silly-eth, silly-eth, silly-eth, silly-eth, silly-eth, silly-eth, silly-eth, silly-eth, silly-eth, silly-eth, old farts at the Guardian-eth!
Print-eth one more bad word of Thee and thou shalt be-eth struck down by lightning!

Love Brian the Wise