"In the beginning, there was the begatation of the beginning.....

Hast thou ever wondered what cameth first, thy chicken or thy egg?

Thy Gods, who art in Heaven and hallowed be Thy Names wereforart very bored and haveth very little to doeth with thine vast talents. Mucheth fiddling about did taketh place and it was foreto boredom that woe them. And woe them it dideth verily much.

"Heaven art becometh dull" sigheth the Lord God Freddie, "And dullness is a diseaseth".

And Lo! Did noteth Thy Gods develop annoying habits which turneth unto hissy fits betweeneth them! Thy Gods knoweth that this was not good, but they knoweth not what to do. "Cuteth it out" shouteth John the Wise and stopeth they did for they kneweth better than nay to listen to John the Mysterious for he hath a sharpeth tongue!

In the beginning of Begatation: Roger the Divine said unto Brian the Wise "Willeth thou stoppeth thy winking and wunking on thy enlarged instrument" to which Brian the Wise replieth "'Tis not known as winking and wunking but plinking and plunking".
Roger the Divine receeded his hands into his Holy Pockets and pondered this great wisdom.

He spake thusly "Thy strange habit of stroking thou instrument shall forevermore be known as wanking, and it is so".

The Lord God Freddie Mercury looketh down from his throne and decreed "Thouest play with thy instrument muchly and turneth it to the hue of the Great Ball Of Fire at Setting Time! Thouest hath made your instrument special!"

Brian the Wise nodded sagely and thusly decreed "I shall forever wank my Red Special"

John the Mysterious made rabbit ears and saideth "Thee really needeth something to do with Thineselves, thou art verily bored and it art depressing!"

And so the Gods created things to relieveth their boredom.

The Lord God Freddie did createth glamour and style and all things self indulgent and was well pleased for He liketh to be pampereth.

A Palace fit for a King did he buildeth in Heaven and Brian The Wise did think this ostentatious and Lo!, did urinate on the walls of the Palace for he hath shit on thine liver!

"Why for art thou piss on thy Palace?" The Lord God Freddie did spake verily angrily for he felt smited by Brian The Wise. And thusly, he did ploteth his revenge!

The Lord God Freddie did huffeth off to his Singer Sewing Machine and whipeth up a nice frock of feathers and sequins and did squateth in the centre of His Holy marble floor in the parlour of His Palace and layeth a giant egg!

"Behold!" he spaketh. And Lo!, the egg did hatcheth and there was a giant bird with resplendant green feathers. The Lord God Freddie did commandeth to the bird:

"Go forth, thy feathered friend" and do shiteth upon Brian The Wise for he hath peed upon thy Palace walls!"

And it was so.

And Roger The Divine did laugh heartily for He thought that verily funny indeed.
"Thy doest not think that art very funny at all!" sobbed Brian the Wise and a black cloud did descendeth upon Him and He did sulketh. "Bollocks" spake Roger the Divine loudly. Then he did thusly ponder and sayeth: "The Lord God Freddie has createth such things and yet thee hath not! What can thee doeth" he thought.
"Ahaeth" he cried. "Let there be a new profession, let it be known as thine oldest profession and it shalleth maketh thee verily happy!"

"What art thou on about?" enquired The Lord God Freddie.

"Thee knowest not!" answered Roger the Divine "But thee do knowest that thee wants to wear a frock, and lipstick and dresseth like a school girl! And thee has an itcheth thee canst quite scratcheth"

"Then build a mansion of bunnies and fill it with lush play things and calleth it, oh, perhaps, Mansion of Playg.....no....BunnyRanch!" decreed The Lord God Freddie.

"Ah, what a grandeth idea!" exclaimed Roger The Divine and createth it he did, and he was happy for he looketh good as a girl living in a BunnyRanch.

And Hark, tinkering did they not harken in the back shed, for John the Mysterious was mysteriously creating stuffeth that art useful.

"Fear not' he spake unto the others and harken they did for it was not often that John the Mysterious spake. "I shall not partake in thy quest for flashy stuffeth, but createth the backbone of the usefulness and all things necessary, like flanges!". The other Gods werest thusly impressed at such mystery.

And it was so.

Brian the Wise did moaneth and spake "Thee too wisheth to create!" And it was so. And Lo! he did secretly believe that his creation art better than the other Gods because he did useth Adobeth Photoshop, in which he art very proficient.