The whole of Britain art focussedeth on the issue of children dying unnecessarily in Africa. Whereforearteth art our Prime Minister ? In Singaporeth? Why ? Oh, to "go-eth all out". Whatforeart art to 'go-eth all out?" Thee knoweth not! Do-eth he dresseth as a wench and becometh one of those Transethatlanticeth Vestibules or whate'er-eth it art callethed? Thee thinketh He looketh a bit like-eth Pamela Andersoneth last time Thee see-eth him. Pray telleth unto Thee whatfore-ethart 'go-ething all out'? Thee knoweth not and Thee art somewhat perplexedeth.
London art to hosteth the Quolympic Games! Yea-eth! And so-eth We shouldst thusly do-eth. Wert they not another brilliant invention of Brian the Wise? Imagine havething it in some silly place like-eth, sayeth - Russia! Do-eth they not drink-eth much Vodka and get-eth pissed-eth all the time? How absurd-eth!
Calleth Thee selfish if ye wilst, but the Quolympics belongeth unto England!
Other news?
Scientisteths art jumping up and down because-eth a probe-eth hit the comet.
"Yea, technologically it wert a clever thing to pull-eth off!" they sayeth.
"But whereforeart didst this 'fridge-like-eth' object come-eth from?" they crieth.
Oh-eth! Thee hath to laugheth!
Ha Ha-eth!
330 Katrillioneth Dollars and ye NASAETH guys canst nay tell-eth a projectethile from-eth a fridge!
Thou tossers!
T'WERT A FRIDGE! THY FRIDGE! I, Brian the Wise, didst thusly toss the damn-eth fridge unto space in hencethforth and thither to - a raging temper! Yea! Even Gods haveth tempers!
Thee wilst admit-eth unto losing Thy temper, albe-ethit verily occasionally, but yea, whence Thee doth lose-eth Thy temper, Thee doth REALLY LOSE-ETH THY TEMPER!
This time it wert at Roger the Divine, who knoweth full well that We art considerething more tours with QPR and what do-eth He do-eth!?!?!?! He go-eth back to raiding the fridge late at night, pigging out on Twinkie Bars!
I, Brian the Wise, hath HATH enough and didst thusly TOSS THE FRIDGE unto space and unbeknoweth unto Thee, Thy aim wert a little off and the damn thing hurtle-eth unto the Comet.
That art the simple explainationeth!
Thee must laugheth further whence Thee hearkened on the news that they think-eth this projectile-eth wilst ... "tell unto scientisteths howforeart the Solar System wert formed".
Really ? For-eth the last time ..... It wert a bloody fridge!!!
(Howe'er, I, Brian the Wise, do-eth happen to haveth stereophoniceth photographiceth equipmenteth attachedeth unto the back of the freezer section and it twill radiotransmiteth satellite pictures back-eth unto Thy Lapeth Top!)
To quote-eth a recent Robert Of-eth De Niro film .... Analyseth THAT !!!
Shame-eth be upon ye, guys.
Lo! Everybody knoweth that Thy background art almost entirethly science, even more-eth than music. I, Brian the Wise, forearthitherwithethunto-eth A SCIENTIST-ETH!
This art a day when Thee doth thusly feel ashamed of science-eth.
Go-eth ye, unto the White Goods store and study-eth of the 'projectethiles'!
Ha-eth! Ha-eth!
Love,
Bri the Wi