"Hello Thy Beauties"

Allow thee to introduce Thy Gods who standeth afore thee:

Roger The Divine!

John The Mysterious!

Brian The Wise!

and I am The Lord God Freddie!

We hath descended from the heavens above to bring to thee the Word Of The Holy Queeble. Thou art all sinners, thou doest far too much begatting and not maketh of the offerings to the Gods for should we not begat before thee?
(The crowd were shameth for they knew they had done much begatting)
Thou art dull and art not dullness a disease?
(Yes we art dull, murmured the crowd)
Thou knoweth not in the ways of life and we knoweth all.
Thou must bow down afore thy Gods and hark thy words, for it is written.

Fooleth around shall we but first, some knowledge:

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for Vodka is in the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted by the songs of Queen and the word of the Queeble.

Blessed are the meek: for they shall knoweth not shyness locked in thy bedroom with headphones on.

Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall find sanctimonious mailing lists.

Blessed are the mercurial: for they shall obtain Mercury.

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see Gods in all their glory on nude posters and knoweth the glory of thy Gods.

Blessed are the tribute bands: for they art spreading the word of the Gods..

Blessed are they that have been persecuted for freedom of speech: for the Gods do frowneth upon bad mailing lists that promote sycophantia. Blessed are ye when sycophants shall reproach you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for thy Gods sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets that were before you.
Suffer ye of much sycophantia, your time is nigh.

DO THY WANT TO FOOL AROUND?

And the crowd cheered, for they did.

And the young Lord God Freddie did strutteth his stuff in his leotards, and Roger the Divine did beat his coconuts, and Brian the Wise did strumeth his guitar that he hath fashioned from a fireplace and John The Mysterious did pluck at his pipe cleaners and calleth it 'the bass' and the Lord God Freddie did singeth:

(to the tune of JESUS)

Ye are the salt of the earth:
but if the salt have lost its savor,
wherewith shall it be salted?
it is thenceforth good for nothing,
but to be cast out and trodden under foot of men.
Ye are the light of the world.
A city set on a hill cannot be hid.
Neither do men light a lamp, and put it under the bushel,
but on the stand; and it shineth unto all that are in the house.
Even so let your light shine before men;
that they may see your good works,
and glorify thou Gods who came down from heaven.

"What art thou singeth?" hissed Roger The Divinely cute, "For it maketh no sense, thou art pissed!" "Of what thee spaketh the crowd knoweth not!"

"Then I shall try something elseth that thine art just wroteth" declared the young Lord God Freddie and he bursteth into another number:

And here we art in the crowd
A lot of people hath gathered round Us
The beggars shout the lepers calleth Us
The Gods sayeth nothing
We just stare about Us
All going down to see the Gods
All going down to see the Gods
All going down

Then came a man before Our feet he fell
Unclean said the leper and rang the bell
Felt the palm of a hand touch his head
Go now go now you're a new man instead
All going down to see the Gods
All going down to see the Gods
All going down

It all began with the three wise record producers
Followed a star took them to Kensington
And made it heard throughout the land
Born were leaders of the men
All going down to see the Gods
All going down to see the Gods
All going down

It all began with the three wise record producers
Followed a star took them to Kensington
And made it heard throughout the land
Born were leaders of the men
All going down to see the Gods
All going down to see the Gods
All going down

And the crowd leapt to their feet and did applaud thy Gods for they were saved!
The Word Of The Queeble rang in their ears and they believeth.

"Moreth" they chanted "We want moreth!"

And the Gods belted out moreth and the crowd was ecstatic!

We will we will teach you
We will we will learneth you

Sinner you must adore thee
Shout it in the street Thy Gods rule this place
Get down and worship thee
On your knees
While I wave my cute tushy right in 'a your face

We will we will teach you
Singin'
We will we will learneth you

Sinner you must heed thee
Tis the only way to make you some peace some day
You must worship no other
And covet no other
We descended from heaven to show you the way

We will we will teach you
Singin'
We will we will learneth you
Everybody
We will we will teach you
We will we will learneth you
Alright

The women did fainteth in ecstasy for The Lord God Freddie did pranceth exotically and the men did waveth their arms in the air for they knewest now what they knowest not afore.

"We will follow thy Word Of The Queeble for art thou not perfect in every way ---- except for thine teeth" they cheered unto the young Lord God Freddie.

"We will forevermore play air guitar and hark to thy wise words for art thou not the wisest of them all" they roared to Brian The Well I Think I'll Have To Be Wise Now.

"Art thou not the prettiest damn drummer unto all heaven and earth and doth not thy pounding stir primitive lustings within thy loins" they begged of Roger The Divinely Cute who was fast becoming to old to be calleth cute.

"Thou art sublime and kooky and lo, we art amazed by thee for thou art mysterious" they cried in awe of John Well He's Really Mysterious Now.

And Lo, so it was, that the Gods enthralled the masses with the WORD and the WORD was the QUEEBLE and the QUEEBLE was the WORD and the people were saved from dullness and boredom by the WORD of THE HOLY QUEEBLE.

And it was so.