Well! Thee canst ne'er believeth Thee hath nay spaketh of this afore!
So...
Back thither yonder in the days when the lands were few and Thee wert but a young Godette, Thee knoweth Thee wert destineth for great things!
"This requireth much soul-searching!" Thee thought-eth unto Thyself and Thee set off thither yonder upon Thy trusty camel unto the desert to pondereth in depth!
"How wilst Thee maketh of Thy mark?" Thee pondereth as Thee sat aside the oasis.
"Lo! There art no need, the flies art doing-eth that for Ye!" sayeth the cheeky camel.
"Drat! Dastardly flies!" crieth I, Brian the Wise, "For-eth they hath been crawling around in thou camel crap and they hath left stains upon Thy shirt!"
"Yea! They hath create-eth much artwork upon Thy shirt! Ha ha ha-eth!" sneereth the rude beast.
"Lo! It art quite a unique-eth pattern!" sayeth I, Brian the Wise.
"That art it! That art the answer Thee hath searcheth Thy soul for-eth!"
"Thee shalt colour in this fly shit pattern with Thy Holy Crayons© and createth a psychedelic shirt that art way too cool for-eth Carnaby Street!" sayeth Thee, marvellething at Thy Brilliance©.
"That shalt be-eth how I, Brian the Wise, doth stand out from the Other Gods! With Thy Shirts!"
"Camel! Let-eth Thee mount-eth thee - we art heading back unto civilization with Thy brilliant idea-eth©!"
"Lo!" sayeth the camel, "Art Thou going unto civilization with hair like-eth that?!?"
"What doth thou spake-eth of?" Thee asketh the camel.
"This desert air hath ruined Thy 'do'. Thou art all frizzy. Thou looketh like a poodle!" sayeth the camel.
"Damnation!" sayeth I, Brian the Wise "Curses be upon Thy curly locks!"
"Thou art stuck with them now!" sayeth the camel rather smugly.
"Then SO BE-ETH IT!" sayeth I, Brian the Wise, "From this day onward, I, Brian the Wise, shalt be-eth famous and revereth for-eth Thy Psychedelic Shirts© and Thy Poodle Hair©! And what I, Brian the Wise hath decreed upon this day, let no man put asunder!"
And, with that, the camel droppeth an Almighty Fart and we headeth back unto civilization.
Lo and behold! That night, I, Brian the Wise wert looking verily cool as Thee strolleth up Cranaby Street and lo and behold, Thee spy-eth with Thy highly trained eye, Eric Clappedeth Out!
DAMN HIM!
There he wert with his strange (obviously copied) psychedelic shirt which wert way too cool for-eth Carnaby Street! Flower Power! Phhhhhhffffttt! Beads upon his neck, impossibly cool glasses, and his HAIR! Way too long, all fluff and nonsense, poofed up and straight with this oh-eth-so UNNATURAL flick! TRYING TOO HARD TO MAKETH IT LOOK 'ACCIDENTAL'! Ha Ha-eth! Thinking he art the coolest guy on the planet! Damn him! Consider thyself SMITED, oh Eric Clappedeth Out! Thou art NAY COOL!
'Tis I, Brian the Wise who art the Coolest God of them all!
THEE HATH COOL HAIR©!
THEE HATH COOL SHIRTS©!
THEE INVENTETH OF IT !!!!
Go-eth away, Clappedeth Out Eric!
Love,
Brian the Wise