Hey, whatsyernames, hear my voice;
Ye wives of mine, hearken unto my speech:
For I have slain a man for taking my Vodka,
And a young man for burning me with his cigarette butt down the pub:
4:24 If Mad the Swine shall be avenged sevenfold,
Truly *I* shall be avenged seventy and sevenfold.
For I do not wish to be seen as second rate to Cain
He is a mere pissant.
4:25 And Son knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and she didn't know what for to to name this child for she had so many. For, said she, Thy Gods hath appointed me another seed instead of Great King Rat; for Mad the Swine slew him. 4:26 And to the other son, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Whatshisname. Then began men to call upon the name of The LORDS Thy Gods.
5:1 This is the book of the generations of Son. In the day that Thy
Gods created man, in the likeness of Thy Gods (resplendent in every
way) made they him; 5:2 male and female created they them and begat
much fun in doing so, and blessed them and baptised them with Vodka,
and called their name Son, in the day when they were created. 5:3 And
Son lived a hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own
likeness, after his image for he had a mirror; and called his name Hey
You for he couldn't think of anything else at the time foreto because
of that bloody Vodka again:
5:4 and the days of Son after he begat Hey
You were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters. 5:5 And
all the days that Son lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he
died in the bath one night when his stupid wife dropped the hairdryer
in it and electrocuted him.
5:6 And Hey You mourned the loss of his father who did die in the bath,
but lived a hundred and five years, and begat a lot:
5:7 and Hey You
lived after he begat a lot, eight hundred and seven years, and begat
sons and daughters: 5:8 and all the days of Hey You were nine hundred
and twelve years: and he died with a very sore willy.
5:9 And someone else, can't remember which one for the brain is pickled
with thy Vodka, lived ninety years, and begat a fair bit too. 5:10 and
he lived after he begat a fair bit, eight hundred and fifteen years,
and begat sons and daughters:
5:11 and all the days of someone else,
whoever the hell he was, were nine hundred and five years: and he died
from natural causes...as you do when you're 985.
5:12 And this other bloke lived seventy years, and begat and begot:
5:13 and he lived after he begat and begot a few more ankle biters
eight hundred and forty years, and begat more sons and daughters, in
fact, they all bred like rabbits:
5:14 and all the days of this other
bloke were nine hundred and ten years: and he was totally stuffed and
he died.

5:15 And his next door neighbour lived sixty and five years, and loved
to begat: 5:16 And the next door neighbour lived after he begat eight
hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:17 and all
the days of the next door neighbour were eight hundred ninety and five
years: and he died coz he was all shagged out.
5:18 And the bloke up the road lived a hundred sixty and two years, and
begat just as much as everyone else: 5:19 and he lived after he begat
so much, eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:20 And
all the days of the bloke up the road were nine hundred sixty and two
years: and he died, for he too was knackered.
5:21 And the other blokes cousin lived sixty and five years, and begat , same as the rest of the begatters: 5:22 and this cousin walked with Thy Gods up Kensington Street after he'd begatted three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters: 5:23 and all the days of this cousin were three hundred sixty and five years: 5:24 and he walked with God: and he was not; for Thy Gods took him...where to, thee knows not.
5:25 And the cousins son lived a hundred eighty and seven years, and
begat some more: 5:26 and he lived after he begat a few more kids,
seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters.
5:27
And all the days of him were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he
too died.
5:28 And the son of this son lived a hundred eighty and two years, and
begat a son: 5:29 and he called his name Crystal, saying, This same
shall comfort us in our work and in the toil of our hands, which cometh
because of the ground which Thy Gods hath cursed, for they cursed and
swore a lot when they were on the piss.
5:30 And the son of the son
lived after he begat Crystal five hundred ninety and five years, and
begat sons and daughters: 5:31 And all the days of the son of the son
were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he collapsed and died
of a heart attack for he could not afford a triple bypass.
5:32 And Crystal was five hundred years old: And Crystal begat three daughters: Fat Bottomed Girl, Naughty Nannie and Killer Queen.
6:1 And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the
ground, and daughters were born unto them, 6:2 that the sons of Thy
Gods saw the daughters of men, that they were fair; and they took them
wives of all that they chose.
6:3 And Thy Gods were pissed off and
said, Our spirits shall not strive with man for ever, for they are
carrying on like Rock Stars and that is a privilege only for Thy Gods:
yea shall his days be a hundred and twenty years for these centuries of
fornicating must cease and only be a conquest of the Gods fortherearto
it would create penis envy amongst Thy Gods and this would ne'er do.
6:4 The Scandal were in the earth in those days, and also after that,
when the sons of God came unto the daughters of men, and they bare
children to them:
6:5 And Thy Gods saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth
and Thy Gods were digusted, and that every imagination of the thoughts
of his heart was only evil continually. And so it seemed that man was
'getting it' more than Thy Gods. 6:6 And it repented Thy Gods that
they had made man on the earth, and it grieved them at their hearts.
What foolish things we do when we are pissed they cried. Brian the Wise
did spake unto Roger the Divine and The Lord God Freddie and did scold
them for being 'the ringleaders'. "It's all your faulteth' he whined
'You and that bloody Vodka"
6:7 And Thy Other Gods agreed and said,
We will destroy man whom We have created from the face of the ground;
both man, and beast, and creeping things, and birds of the heavens; for
it repenteth Us that We have made them when we were pissed. 6:8 But
Crystal found favor in the eyes of Thy Gods for he brought them Panadol
and cleaned up after they vomited.
