"We art verily unhappily!" some of them cried.

"What hath thou to be-eth unhappily about?" inquired others.

"Behold! We feeleth ye doth maketh much fun of Brian the Wise and we doeth not like it!" they spake.

"Oh, get-eth over it and get-eth ye a life!" sayeth the majority.

"Yea! That we shall!" huffed the worshippers of Brian the Wise.

"We shall leaveth This Land, and we shall seeketh a New Land where we shalt not hearken unto ye and ye blashpemic slanderething of Brian the Wise" they sayeth.

"Well sod off then!" sayeth the others.

"That we shall! And we shall starteth a new religion and we shall nameth this new religion "We Believeth In Brian The Wise! And we shall travel unto a New Land and this New Land shall haveth greener grass and prettier cows and sharks and it shall be-eth sweet like candy!" they sayeth.

"Lo!" sayeth the others in glee, "Goeth unto the Land of Donuts and eat-eth much, for thou willst become-eth fatter than the pretty cows!" And they laughed-eth with much mirth for they thought it wert verily funny indeed.

And so it wert that the "We Believeth In Brian The Wise" group packed up their wagons and did moveth out.

And they travelled the long and winding road.

And they cameth unto the Land of Olde Orleans and they saw that it wert good.

"Hark! This Land doth have greener grass and pretty cows and sharks and it art sweet like candy!" they cried and they wert verily happily indeed.

And they did looketh and searcheth for a place to settle.

"Just over this hill looketh like a good spot" sayeth their Leader who wert rather loud and bossy.

And over the hill they climbeth and Behold! There, before their eyes, wert a gypsy caravan down by the river!

"Oh no-eth!" cried The Leader, "someone art already here and they haveth a beignet stand!"

"A what?" sayeth the others.

"A beignet stand! BEN - YAY! YE GODS! DOTH THEE PLEBIANS KNOWETH NOT OF ANYTHING!" she crieth exasperated!

"Doth thou mean, like donuts?" sayeth one.

"Yea, thy meaneth like donuts, but we doeth not use such common words, they art known as beignets!" she sayeth contemptuously.

"Oh!" sayeth the others.

"EAU! LOOKETH!" sayeth the Feeble One "LOOKETH AT THE SIGN ON THE CARAVAN!"

"EAU THY GODS!" sayeth The Leader, "HOW COMMON!"

"Perhaps we can drive them out!" sayeth The Junior.

"MayBe-eth!" sayeth The Leader, "For we can ne'er settle with commoners. We did not cometh all this way to maketh of the same mistakes as before-eth!"

They slowly approached the Queen Donut caravan, whilst plotting their evil plan.

As they dreweth nearer they could see that someone wert hard at work in the kitchen, smoketh rose above the deep-eth fryer and the sickly sweet smell of batter and frosting permeated the air.

"LO! THOU THERE! HEARKEN UNTO US, THOU COMMON PLEBIAN! THOU LOW-LIFE OF LITTLE VALUE! BEHOLD! WE HATH COME-ETH TO TAKETH OVER THOU LAND! SURRENDER UNTO US NOW AND WE SHALL SPARE THY MISERABLE LIFE!"

Just then, there wert an Almighty BANGETH!

"OW - ETH !!! $*%(*_&##!!!" came-eth the reply, "LO! THEE HATH BURNT THYSELF WITH HOT FAT!"

"SHOW-ETH THYSELF UNTO US AT ONCE! COME-ETH OUT WITH THINE HANDS UP!" cried The Leader.

And a simultaneous GASP rippled through the crowd, for there stood BRIAN THE WISE!

And the crowd did droppeth unto their knees and worship their God.

"WHO WERT FOREART BLASHPEMING THEE?" YELLED BRIAN THE WISE.

'Twert her! The Leader!" sayeth The Junior and The Feeble One in unison.

"Shut-eth up, thou hags!" spat The Leader "Thee didst see a paparazzi scum bag SCRIBE hiding behind the wagon wheel!"

"A SCRIBE! HERE! THERE ART NO SNIPING BITCH, PIMPLY DUMB BUM SCRIBES ALLOWED HERE IN THY HALLOWED-BE-ETH-THY-NAME LAND OF SUGAR AND SPICE AND ALL THINGS NICE-ETH!" roared Brian the Wise.

The Leader breathedeth a sigh of relief for she kneweth of being off the hook.

"SO, YE FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS HATH FOLLOWED THEE UNTO THE LAND OF GREENER GRASS AND PRETTY COWS AND SHARKS AND ALL THINGS SWEET LIKE CANDY?" sayeth Brian the Wise.

"Yea, we wouldst thusly follow Ye anywhere, for we art the people of We Believe-eth In Brian the Wise! Nice land Thee hath here, by the way" they sayeth.

"THANKS BE UPON THEE, THY WORSHIPPERS. COME! LET THEE BAKETH OF DONUTS FOR THEE. AND WHAT DIDST THEE HEARKEN ABOUT THE NAME 'DONUT'?" sayeth Brian the Wise.

"Nothing" sayeth The Leader.

"Liar!" spat the others!

"Be-eth quiet!" sayeth The Leader.

"But thou sayeth the nameth of Donut art for plebians and commoners!' they cried in amazement.

"Did not!" sayeth The Leader.

"Did too, thou sayeth thou nameth them beignets - BEN YAYS!" they sayeth.

"Did not, thou art disillusioned, thou suffereth of the jet lag. Be-eth quiet! Thou art OFF TOPIC!" sayeth The Leader

"But thou sayeth........." began another.

'SHUT-ETH UP OR THOU WILLST BE-ETH BANNED FROM THIS LAND FOR THE TERM OF THOU NATUAL LIFE AND BANISHED UNTO THE ANTIPODES!' roared The Leader for she feared she wert losing her grip.

"WORSHIPPERS! PLEASE!" sayeth Brian the Wise, "LET US NOT ARGUE IN THE LAND OF OLDE ORLEANS, THE LAND OF GREENER GRASS AND PRETTY COWS AND SHARKS AND HOME OF ALL THINGS SWEET AS CANDY. BRINGETH ONLY GOOD THOUGHTS UNTO THIS LAND AND WE CAN LIVE IN ETERNAL PEACE AND HARMONY. AND THERE ART NO SMOKING!"

"Quite frankly, we're hungry!" cried one.

"LO! THEN YE SHALL FEAST UPON THY DONUTS!" sayeth Brian the Wise.

And so it was.

And they ate.

And they ate.

And they ate some more.

And they did groweth fat.

And they did groweth lazy.

And they did groweth fatter.

And fatter and fatter and fatter.

And they greweth fatter than the pretty cows.