Local Londoninium resident held on charges of public nudity.

Brian The Wise from right here in Londoninium, England wert arrested yesterday on four counts of public nudity. "Brian the Wise hath been running around town naked for several day afore we finally caughteth Him," police Sgt. Heckler sayeth.

"We hath several complaints from concerneth mothers about a skinny, lily-white-arsed, poodle-permed, git running around naked and decideth it wert time to taketh this criminal down once and for-eth all."

The police useth a computer to plot out wherest Brian the Wise hath been streaking, and found a trend.

“These incidents seem to happen not long after the morning tabloids art delivereth unto Brian the Wises’ mailbox. We hearken a lot of shrieking and banging and then ‘whoosh-eth’, out cometh this Screaming Naked God!” sayeth Sgt Heckler.

We set-eth up a trap for Brian The Wise based on this information. He fell for-eth it, hook, line and er, tinkler!

Sgt Heckler pleadeth for public understanding and tolerance by spaking these words:

“Pray understand, Brian the Wise art a delicate God who trieth verily hard to Doeth Good! The media poketh fun at Him relentlessly and maketh jokes of His Good Works. It art verily tough for Brian the Wise to copeth with this, being the manic depressive that He art. The media needeth to lay off for a while and giveth this poor God a break.”

Many local Londoninium residents wert shocked at who it wert.

One widow, Mrs. Cunningethham hath this to saith, "I always thought Brian The Wise wert such a do-gooder. I guess He hath finally shown His true side. His hopes of a Knighthood art in jeopardy now!"

Brian the Wise declineth our request for an interview spaking only these words, "Buy Bang!"

Reported by: The Heckler QCB News Staff