Lo! The Queeble customs that art observeth during Easter art varied and many. There art many tales of Easter, includ-ething life, death, begatting, birth and chocolate.
The word "Easter" art nameth after Eastre, the exotic lap-dancer and goddess Roger the Divine and John the Mysterious wert enraptured by and didst thusly fall out over, ensuing a fearful punch up.
A festival art held in her honor every year at the site of the fight.
According to legend, the two Gods wert in a bidding war to lick-eth chocolate body paint from Eastre. As the Gods haveth an endless supply of money, there wert no end in sight to this crazed bidding war and so thusly, the Gods both lost-eth Their Holy Tempers and Roger the Divine didst thusly punch John the Mysterious in the nose!
John the Mysterious wert thusly furious and didst scream at Roger the Divine "She art mine, I didst thusly perve upon her first!" and didst kick Roger the Divine in the Holy Cods.
"Holy Bruised Balls!" yelled Roger the Divine as He doubleth over in pain "Thy balls art bruised the colour of chocolate!"
"Serveth Thee right" sayeth John the Mysterious.
With that, John the Mysterious ran away-eth unto the manger with the Exotic Lap-eth Dancer, leave-ething the jar of chocolate body paint behind.
Roger the Divine writhed-eth upon the ground in much pain.
"Oh woe art Thee!" He crieth verily loudly.
Bunny, the lap-eth dancer with bunny ears and a fluffy tail, didst hearken unto Roger the Divines screameths of agony and rusheth over to assist Him. Grabbing what she thinketh to be Bruised Ball Ointethment, she liberally applyeth it unto His Holy Balls.
Behold! She hath covered Roger the Divines Holy Bruised Balls in chocolate body paint!
"Holy Eastres Eggs!" she crieth and, as she looketh up, she noticed all the little children wert peering curiousethly through the window.
"Oh no!" she crieth and rusheth out to shoo-eth them away!
"What wert thee doing unto that God?" they asked.
"Why I wert on an Eastre Egg Hunt with Him!" she explaineth.
"Whatforethart an Easter Egg Hunt" the children cried.
"Doeth nay be so stupid, thou babies" spaketh the oldest child, "Bunny here hideth chocolates in the shapeth of eggs and it art liketh a treasure hunt. She didst thusly hide some in Roger the Divines pants!"
"Y..y..yea, he art verily right, what a clever boy!" sayeth Bunny who kneweth not what else to sayeth.
"Wow! What fun!" crieth the children, "Canst we play?"
"Why-eth of course" sayeth a relieved Bunny "Go-eth home and maketh of thine own eggs and bringeth them unto thee and thee willst hide them for ye!"
And so it wert that every year the children decorateth chocolate eggs and Bunny didst hide them for the Easter Treasure Hunt.
Queeblers also commemorate Good Friday as the day that Roger the Divine and Brian the Mysterious died and Easter Sunday as the day that They wert resurrected as Queen +.
Traditionally, many Queeblers buy-eth new clothes from the Gods + Paul-eth Rodgers Tour Merchandise-eth range and attend services at the temple shouldst they not win tickets in the Brixton Chook Raffle.
After temple services, Queeblers head down the pub and drinketh of much Vodka. After much-eth drinkething of the Vodka they have-eth competitions to emulate the style and distinctive good taste of The Lord God Freddie by make-ething creative hats. Much merriment art had by all participanteths.
From this tradition, Easter Bonnet parades art staged-eth all over the world in honour of The Lord God Freddie