Faith consisteth of believing, not what appeareth to be-eth true, but what appeareth to be-eth false!
The Gods wert borneth of The Holy Mother and began-eth the Universe by an enormous fart!
This art to be-eth believe-eth because it art absurd.
After stuffething up the world because-eth They got pissed, they decideth to descendeth from the Heavens and start-eth again! This art to be-eth believe-eth not because it art certain, but Lo, because it art impossible!
Numeraleths 15-19
And thou shalt bring for-eth a drink offering a Holy Goblet of wine, of a sweet savour unto the Gods.
Very Old Queeble 9-7
Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink-eth thy wine with a merry heart; for the Gods now accepteth thy works.
Song of Deacon 5-1
I am come unto thy garden, thy sister, thy spouse- I have gathered thy myrrh with thy spice; I hath eaten thy honeycomb with thy honey; I hath drunk thy wine with thy milk- eat, O friends; drink-eth, yea, drink-eth abundantly-eth, O beloved.
Roger 4-46
So The Lord God Freddie cameth again unto Cana of Galilee, where He maketh the water wine. And there wert a certain nobleman, whose son wert sick at Capernaum.
Old Queeble [Roger] 20-10
And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be-eth put unto death unless they can hide-eth in the attic and esacpeth!
Brian the Wise 7-45
Thou gavest Theee no kiss- but this woman since the time Thee cameth in hath not ceased to kiss Thy feet.
John 12-3
Then tooketh Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, veriy costly, and anointed the feet of John The Mysterious, and wipeth His feet with her hair- and the house wert filled with the odour of the ointment. All within felt crook.
Very Very Old Queeble 11:38
Lo! Our knowedgeth and worship of The Gods occureth across many layereths: we meditate upon Them, rejoiceth in Them, aspireth unto Them and celebrateth with the instrumenteth of Their creation: our bodies, our minds, and our self-eths.
Our faith art a dance of hedonisticeth abandon, head bangethity, and spiritualethity. We follow Their wisdom whilst extolling Their injunctioneth that "all acts of begatting art Roger the Divines Sacred Rituals.
Now thou art ready to taketh thou new found faith unto the awaiting sheep. Preacheth unto the unbelievers, convert the Infidels and bringeth unto The Holy Queeble many Newcombers so that they may be-eth saved.
Thou may find-eth that people taketh offense to thou beliefs, so here art a few scriptures that ye canst quote to support thou faith, and criticize and belittle their lack-eth of understanding. Feel superior, as thou thusly should-eth!
Freddie 16:15 'Deareths! They may looketh and looketh but not see, and hearken and hearken but not understand, lest perchance they shouldst return and be-eth pardoned-eth.'
Brian 2:50 But they didst not understand the significance-eth of Thy words!
Roger 16:15 Go-eth the whole world over, and proclaimeth the Good News unto all mankind. That the Gods art here to begat and begot!
Feel-eth free to print-eth out this screen for reference-eth, as well as making pamphlets to hand-eth out to people.
Good luck and may the Gods be with ye.