Dearest Brian oh Wise One,

I must write and say thanks be upon thee for taking the time to speak unto thee when at Toymaster Ipswich thou ran over thy leg with thou trolley.

I felt a bit silly and girly but thou completely put thee at ease whence thou kicked thee and said most kindly ‘Get out of thy way, slag’. How considerate of thee when I wert intruding on thou private shopping time. I wouldst ne’er hath bothered you but for the fact I wert trying to get my prescription filled for my lifesaving drugs. To be knocked unto the ground by Brian the Wise really made thy Christmess .

I hope thou hath a fab Christmas, thanks be upon thee.

Jenn Smith

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Brian the Wise replied:

Thou wert lovely ... gentleness and kindness personified ... it wert a real pleasure meeting thee, Jenn.

Merry Christmess !

Love
Bri the Wi
X

PRINT! Might show the rest of these plebs how they should act!

We sat in front of thee at We Will Dack Thee. We couldst doeth nowt but cry. Oh to be so close unto Thee! We scavenged thou pubic hair from the seat after thou left!

Love,

Frank Brown

Brian the Wise replyeth:

In Italian ( for He art multilingual as well as wise ):
Maggio i capelli sui vostri testicoli girano l'azzurro e danno fuoco quando passate il vento.

In English:
May the hair on thou testicles turn blue and ignite when thou pass wind.