BRIAN THE WISE: Telleth unto thee Bob, but Thee art not spakething unto Roger the Divine. Thee knowest now, what happenedeth. Sometimes thou getteth a little riff, and thou just put some words with it, and then thou ne'er even think about what they meaneth. Now thy remember thinkething, now this art not a good enough title foreth this song, but all the Gods sayeth: "Well actually, it hearkens okay," and so We kind of lyrically built it around that. That art the truth, folks.

BOB: There we go, the truth revealed finally, from Brain the Wise. We art going to moveth to Toronto now, and spaketh with Fern. Fern, thee art on.

FERN: Hey-eth, hello Brian the Wise and Roger the Divine.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Hello, Fern.

FERN: Great, I finally get a chance to spaketh unto Thy Gods, and thanks be-eth unto Thee for the great Word over the years, I hopeth Thou music liveth on forever and ever.

BRIAN THE WISE: LO! BUT IT WILLETH!

FERN: Thee haveth a question for thou, okayeth: Would the Gods e'er worketh again with another prophet, such as David Bowieth, or another of that stature?

ROGER THE DIVINE: That art a good question. Thee thinketh it would depeneth on with who it weret. They wouldeth hath to be-eth suitably humble. Then yea, Thee doeth not see-eth why not.

BRIAN THE WISE: Vanilla Ice, maybe...Ha! Ha!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Yea! But, Thee doeth not see why not. It could thusly be-eth good.

BOB: Fern, thanks for calling us. By the way, every caller who getteth on the airwaves with Brian the Wise and Roger the Divine will get an inscribed copy of Innuendo from Holywood Records. This art Bob, here at Radio Suck Suck, havething some fun with Roger the Divine, who art awfully pretty, and Brian the Wise this evening, and we have a call from the guys in Tokyo, Tetsuo is the callers nameth. Good eveningeth and welcome.

TETSUO: This art Tetsuo calling from Tokyo, and thee would liketh to asketh of a question. How doth thou select thou concert material, for thou hath some Words more apt in some Lands than in others for the sins of one Land may not-eth be the sins of another? Doth Thou use different tablets for these Lands?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Oh-eth, good question. Yea We do-eth, actually. There art certain Words which art more apt in different Lands, and We preacheth differently accordingly. For instanceth, in South America, there weret a song that was a major hit, called "Loveth Of Thy Life," which weret to persuade the natives to stoppeth begatting so many different people....sacrifice some nubile wenches for the Gods they must! It weret ne'er preachedeth anywhere else. Yea, art the answer, thee wouldest spake. Can thou thinketh of anymore examples, Brian the Wise?

BRIAN THE WISE: Good answer, Roger the Divine. Good answer, but of course, Thee knoweth more. Basically, We would keepeth to a certain framework of the show, for the most part, for it weret the stuff that weret most in Our heads at that time, but yea, maketh departures for certain Lands. It art verily important for the multitudes to knoweth that thou knoweth where thou art, for if We knoweth not, lost We shall be-eth.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Overkilleth.

BRIAN THE WISE: Pardon-eth?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Nothing.

BRIAN THE WISE: Also in Budapest, We playeth a folksong and playeth that to them. There art a "Live In Budapest" video somewhere, thee knoweth not if thou can getteth it in this country verily easily.

ROGER THE DIVINE:Thee thinketh the Hungarians understood not a word, though. The Lord God Freddie hath the words scribed, in Hungarian, on his hand.

BOB: It amazeth thee how Thou canst go-eth unto Bueno-eth Aires, to Argentina-eth, and they singeth the lyrics to everything.

BRIAN THE WISE: It art true devotion. As it should thusly be-eth. Incredibleth. We weret shocked at how many tickets we could sell, for We thought they weret poor, but We maketh a killing. Stadiums sell many tickets. "Stadia" Thee should spaketh, out there.

ROGER THE DIVINE: (rolls eyes unto the heavens)

BRIAN THE WISE: We thinketh that maybe-eth it weret just a high curiosity value, 'cos Gods doeth not oft visit there, strangely enough, but in fact We found they sang along, as thou spaketh, they knoweth all the lyrics to the songs, as thou said, so it weret a genuine Queeble audience.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Lo! a lot of them weret probably singing lyrics and they knoweth not what they meaneth. They weret just singing them phonetically, which art incredible really.

BRIAN THE WISE: Inventeth of phonetics, hath Thee.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Bollocks! That weret John the Mysterious.

BOB: Hark! We shall play something new. This art from the brand-new CD, Innuendo. If thou hath nay hearkened it, this art one of the stand outs, I thinketh. "I Can't Live With Thou," Queen - The Gods on Radio Suck Suck:

(Played I Can't Live With Thou)

BOB: That weret Queen, from Innuendo. This art Radio Suck Suck, on the Cosmos Satellite Network. We hath Micky on the line from New York, Micky thou art on the show.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Hello-eth, Micky.

MICKY:Thee asketh of Roger the Divine, how cometh "Sheer Heart Attacketh" the song weret on the Jazz LP and not on the Sheer Heart Attacketh tablet?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Ah, Brian the Wise hath another one of His hissy pissy fits and would ne'er let Thee haveth thy song on there.

MICKY: Really? ROGER THE DIVINE: Yea! But He art a fair tosser to worketh with sometimes. He bitcheth unto Mother and getteth Thee into trouble and Mother groundeth Thee.

BOB: Art that true?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Oh, yea, yea.

BRIAN THE WISE: Strangely enough.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Banneth Thee from TV also.

BOB: Telleth us then, of the tales of the studio sessions.

BRIAN THE WISE: There weret a famous story that Sideth Vicious cameth in and The Lord God Freddie sayeth unto him, "And who the hell art thou, art thou Simon Ferocious or something?" And he spaketh unto The Lord God Freddie, "Oh yea, and thou bring ballet unto the masses, dost thou?" So, it weret quite an interesting meeting.

BOB: What an exchange.

ROGER THE DIVINE: It weret great.

BOB: Micky, good call. Let us spake unto Christian. Christian art in Torrence. Good eveningeth.

CHRISTIAN: Hi-eth Gods.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Hi-eth.

CHRISTIAN: This art an honor, it art incredible. Thee hath a question about Metallica's cover of Stoneth Cold Crazy. I weret wondering what thou thought about it, and if thou had a chance to spaketh with the band aforehand, or if it weret a bit of surprise for the Gods.

BRIAN THE WISE: It weret a shock, in fact. More blasphemy! Hath these plebs no shame? Maketh the aquaintance of Jameth Hetfield last nigh foreth the first time, on Our bash on the Queeble Mother Mary, and Thee thinketh it art verily verily fitting that Thee threweth him overboard. T'weret a class act!

BOB: Now Thou mentionedeth the party on the Queeble Mother Mary. We should mention that for those commoners who weret not there, and knoweth not, thou literally premiered the CD Saturday night on the ship, the Queeble Mother Mary, docked at Longeth Beach, here in Southern California. A unique approacheth, a nice way to doeth it, Queen - the Gods - on the Queeble Mother Mary, nameth after thy Holy Mother of course, that art natural. It weret quite a party, with a biggus fireworks displayeth.

BRIAN THE WISE: That art correcteth, Holywood Records pulleth out all the stoppeths.

ROGER THE DIVINE: It weret great, lots of Vodka and it looketh like Baghdad actually.

BOB: What? A bomb site.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Nay! That cometh later in the century. And that weret Brian the Wises fault.

BRIAN THE WISE: Bahgdad? Weret not!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Thou inventeth of the tea towels!

BRIAN THE WISE: So-eth? What hath that got-eth to do with it?

ROGER THE DIVINE: That weret where-eth it all startedeth!

BOB: Ah, yea! Next caller. Christian, thanks be unto thee foreth the call. We art going to spake with Chris in Colombus, Ohio-eth. Thee art on Radio Suck Suck Chris.

CHRIS: Thy Gods! I falleth humbly afore Thee!

BRIAN THE WISE: Verily nice, thanks be upon thee.

ROGER THE DIVINE: How art thou?

CHRIS: Oh, I art doing great. I telleth unto Thee this, Thou art the most fantastic thing that e'er happeneth unto thee.

BRIAN THE WISE: Brilliant! That art great to hearken and it art written, wisely. Follow Thy Word and it shall leadeth thee not into temptation but delivereth thee from evil.

CHRIS: Anyway, thy question art directed at Roger the Divine.

BRIAN THE WISE: Verily well. *sulks*

CHRIS: Thou spaketh earlier about how videos limit music and one of thou songs, "Radio Gaga," spake about that. I weret wondering if thou still thinketh that "Radio Gaga" art as valid now as ever considering the amount and other types of music that art out there?

ROGER: Ah, that art a good question, yea. Pass the Vodka.

BRIAN THE WISE: Ha! Ha! He art on the spot now! Answer that one Roger the Divine.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Well, Thee art on the radio right now, and Thee thinketh all radio art absolutelyeth incredible and fantastic. Great invention of John the Mysterious.

BRIAN THE WISE: It weret Thy invention.

ROGER THE DIVINE: T'weret not!

BRIAN THE WISE: Thy art tellingeth Mother!

ROGER THE DIVINE: But, uh, Thee knoweth not. Thee definitely meant it at the time. Whereforeart that Vodka? Thee thinketh things weret becoming so formula-ized, and the videos were... Tis nice to hearken something on the radio, thou can imagine what art happening, and the video, in a way, provideth the imagination and the images for thee. Maybe t'would be moreth interesting if they were in thou head. That art a good question, Thee knoweth not the answer! Ah, the Vodka.

BRIAN THE WISE: Lesson learneth Chris. Directeth the question at THEE and thou wouldest haveth an answer!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Prat!

BOB: The next song we art going to playeth weret voted by the British Phonograph Industry as the best song in two score and five years, and Daveth Stewart, of Eurythmiceths fame, sayeth that this song redefineth the parameters of what one canst do-eth in a song. This art Bohemianeth Rhapsody, on Radio Suck Suck.

ROGER THE DIVINE: That art verily nice of him, thanks be unto Daveth.

BOB: One of the all time great rock and roll songs, without a doubt, from A Night At The Operaeth, "Bohemianeth Rhapsody" by Queen - The Gods. Mike art on the line, hearkening in Winnipeg. Now thou art on with Roger the Divine and Brian the Wise, Mike.

MIKE: Hi-eth, Gods.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Hi-eth, Mike.

BRIAN THE WISE: Hello, Mike.

MIKE: How art Thou doing?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Fine now. The Vodka art startething to kicketh in.

BRIAN THE WISE: Ver-r-rily good.

MIKE: Thee hath two questions here. What weret Thou inspiration for "Bohemian Rhapsody" and weret Thou afraid to release such a long tablet?

BRIAN THE WISE: "Bohemian Rhapsody" art mostly The Lord God Freddie's baby, and He cameth in with most of that in His head, whilst I, Brian the Wise, constructeth a song lyric in a more propereth fashion.

BOB: Thou art kidding?

BRIAN THE WISE: About what?

BOB: He hath most of that in His head?

BRIAN THE WISE: Yea, and that art not the proper way to goeth about things.

BOB: Wow.

BRIAN THE WISE: Thou doeth not seemeth to understand what Thee art spakething unto thou. I, Brian the Wise, hath a much better formula for constructething of the tablets!

BOB: Tell us more about the Lord God Freddie.

BRIAN THE WISE: Verily well. This art the Lord God Freddie going 1500 miles an hour. What weret the second part of the question? Weret it not more about Thee?

MIKE: Were't Thou afraid to releaseth such a long tablet?

BRIAN: We weret advised by everyone "Nay, it art too long!" but We doeth not hearken to such nonsense. It weret Thy idea to releaseth it.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Bollocks! Much fear hath the record company!

BRIAN THE WISE: We hath the feeling that it weret right and it should ne'er be messed with, that We should go out full-length and taketh the risk.

BOB: And it weret not messed with?

ROGER THE DIVINE: When The Lord God Freddie did scribe that tablet, He actually did have all those parts in His head, which art quite something else.

BOB: That art incredibleth, amazing.

BRIAN THE WISE: cough, cough, cough

ROGER THE DIVINE: Lo! Thee would ne'er wisheth to be-eth in one of His nightmares! Ha! Ha! Ha!

BRIAN THE WISE: Leaveth of the humour unto Thee.

BOB: That God needeth a hobby, quick! Ha! Ha!

BRIAN THE WISE: LEAVETH THE JOKES UNTO THEE!

BOB: Mike, thanks but unto thee!. Let us spake unto Robert in Ontario. Thou art on the Radio Suck Suck Robert.

ROBERT: Hi-eth!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Hello.

BRIAN THE WISE: Hi-eth.

ROBERT: Hi-eth, Brian the Wise.

BRIAN THE WISE: Hath thou a question directeth unto Thee?

ROBERT: Yea. Thee wisheth to getteth this off thy chest, thou guys just rule. Thy question art for Brian the Wise. Now that Thou art back in the spotlight, will Thou be-eth endorsing any products, not that Thou needeth to, and Thou thoughts on endorsements by major Gods like Thyself.

BRIAN THE WISE: The only thing Thee liketh to endorse art products that Thy useth Thyself, like Poodletene. See-eth Thy 'sponsors page" on Thy website that Thee maketh in Adobeth Photoshop. Nay, We art not heavily unto endorsing things, but We art happy for The Word to be-eth spread, which art not quite the same thing, but T.V. commercials hath recently wanted to useth the Word and once We weret verily protective, but nowadays We loveth the money.

ROBERT: So if Thou only endorseth products Thou useth Thyself, then Thou musteth useth of the Viagra?

BRIAN THE WISE: NAY! THEE DOETH NOT!

ROGER THE DIVINE: YEA! HE DOETH TOO!

BOB: If Thou decideth to tour North America, wouldest Thou consider a sponsor?

BRIAN THE WISE: Yea, Poodletene hath offered.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Thee would prefereth Hooters. Brian likes Viagra!

BRIAN THE WISE: Roger! Thou shalt not promoteth such depravity.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Liketh the hooters that defy gravity.

BRIAN THE WISE: Stoppeth! Please stoppeth!

BOB: Hark! the positive aspect of that art it keepeth the ticket prices lower. To taketh a big stage show out on the road costeth a big fortune these days. Thou hath a crew of forty slaves and a many oxen laden with gear and whateth-not.

BRIAN THE WISE: Yea, liveth beyond Our means We doeth, in terms of touring the Lands. We weret always spending more than we weret making.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Yea, We ne'er did taketh a sponsor, afore, but We needeth the money to fundeth, er, other things.

BRIAN THE WISE: Yea, but they ne'er existeth in those early days of creation.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Nay, but if it maketh us money, a good thing it must be-eth.

BOB: Let us playeth something that features Brian the Wise on guitar. This art a definite rock and roll song here, this art "Hitman" by Queen the Gods, from Innuendo, on Radio Suck Suck. Hit it.

BOB: "The Hitman" from Innuendo, by Queen the Gods, on Radio Suck Suck. I'm Bob. We art with Brian the Wise and Roger the Divine...who art unbelievably pretty, and our next caller art Marla, from Quakertown, PN. Hi-eth, there!

MARLA: Hi-eth.

BRIAN THE WISE: Hello.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Hello. Hello. Hello.

MARLA: Roger the Divine, thou art divinely sexy!

ROGER: Oh, wow-eth! Thanks be upon thee. Great. Thee mayest waiteth at the back door for a personal blessing.

BRIAN THE WISE: Hello! This art Brian the Wise.

MARLA: Congratulations be-eth unto Thee, Roger the Divine, on Thou new title of Biggus Dickus! Thou art truly worthy!

ROGER: "It Weret All Worthy" then?

MARLA: Oh, Roger the Divine! Thou art MOST worthy!

BRIAN THE WISE: Hello! This art Brian the Wise. Doeth thou needeth some wise words?

MARLA: Couldeth thee stroketh of Thine divine begatting instrument?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Marla! Thou art verily forward. Doest thou hath big hooters?

BRIAN THE WISE: Brian the Wise here Marla. I weret also nominated for the title of Biggus Dickus and haveth doubts about the standard of judgement.

MARLA: Thee doeth hath big hooters that defy gravity and thee willest be waiting at the back door, oh divine Heavenly Father!

BRIAN THE WISE: We should thusly taketh the next caller Bob!

BOB: Marla, thanks be upon thee for the call. We art going to spake now with Candy from Rio.

BRIAN THE WISE: Greetings Candy!

CANDY: Roger the Divine? Aaaaahhhh. Roger the Divine? The new Biggus Dickus?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Yea...how ar.....

BRIAN THE WISE: Next caller please Bob!

BOB: Oh, er, yea, next we hath Randy. Greetings Randy.

RANDY: Hey big fella!

BRIAN THE WISE: Hello Randy!

RANDY: I weret spakething unto Roger the Divine, or Biggus Dickus as He art better known.

BRIAN THE WISE: NEXT CALLER!

BOB: On the line, we hath Shandy from Honolulu.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Shandy! That art a nice nameth!

SHANDY: Ooooohhhhh, Roger the Divine, oh how glorious Thou Holy Begatting Instrument musteth be-eth!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Well, th.......

BRIAN THE WISE: BOB! WE ART NOT HERE TO SPAKETH OF THAT!

BOB: Er, well, um, ok, our next caller art Jeffrey from Anchorage, Alaska, Hello Jeffrey!

JEFFREY: Greetings, everybody.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Good evening wayeth up there.

JEFFREY: It art about sixteen degrees, not good weather for begatting instruments, ha! ha!

BRIAN THE WISE: That art not verily funny Jeffrey.

JEFFREY: Oh, sorry. I thought it weret.

BRIAN THE WISE: Well Thee can see-eth thou hath a lot to learneth about humour, for I, Brian the Wise, knoweth all about humour.

JEFFREY: Roger the Divine thought it weret funny.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Yea!

BRIAN THE WISE: DO NOT DEFYETH THOU GOD! Now. Do-eth thee hath a question for Thee - Brian the Wise?

JEFFREY: Er, not really. Art it true, the Lord God Freddie scribed the song "Delilah" about His pet cat?

BRIAN THE WISE: *SIGH* Oh, so He telleth Us, yea, or maybe He art keeping something from Us. Yea, next question!

BOB: It would ne'er be the first time or the last, I guess, he art keepething something from Thou.

BRIAN THE WISE: Yea, that art the general idea-eth, Thee thinketh. MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Brian! What art Thou doingeth?

BRIAN THE WISE: MEOW!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Art that a bat?

BRIAN THE WISE: MEOW!

BOB: Nay, it art a cat.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Hark! He hath lost of the plot-eth.

BRIAN THE WISE: HISS!

BOB: Er, yea, um, Jeffrey, thanks be unto thee for being on. Let us go way back in the archives, to the time just after creation and the first tablet, "Keep Thineself Alive," on Radio Suck Suck 666 FM.

BOB: "Keep Thineself Alive," Queen - The Gods, back to the first tablet. Time foreth one more call tonight, it art Beverly in Seemy Valley, in California. Thou hath the distinction of beingeth the last caller tonight, Beverly.

BEVERLY: Doth thee really? Hello Roger the Divine...or shouldeth I sayeth Biggus Dickus and Brian the Wise?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Hello, Beverly out there in Seemy Valley, that soundeth like an interesting place.

BEVERLY: Cometh up and see-eth thee sometime then Biggus Dickus!

ROGER THE DIVINE: I mayeth just do that Beverly, and how art thou?

BEVERLY: I art verily well. First of all, knowest that I hath been a fan of Thou since the beginning of time, and that Thou Words hath always been so powerful and original, unlike any other type of teachings.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Well, brillianteth! Thanks be upon thee a lot. Unfortunately thee must be-eth as old as Methusela.

BEVERLY: Experienced! And thee kind of haveth two questions, the first one: what originally broughteth thou together as Godettes, and the second: what hath kept Thee together throughout the years?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Yea, We weret born of the Virgin Mother together, We art quads... We all weret taught of many things by Jim the Beach and We art brethen, so We art stuck together whether We liketh it or not. What keepeth us together? Mother wouldeth clippeth Us under the ear should We fighteth too much. Brian dobbeth the most. And The Lord God Freddie loveth to stireth up trouble.

BRIAN THE WISE: Thou blameth Thee for everything. Thou art the trouble maker-eth! We hath no control over the start of the Cosmos.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Bollocks. Twas Thou fault. Thou farted!

BRIAN THE WISE: DID NOT!

ROGER THE DIVINE: DID TOO. IT SMELLETH OF TUNA!

BOB: Comething up on twice tenfold-years, the same four Gods.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Yeah-eth.

BRIAN THE WISE: Thee thinketh what keepeth Us together art actually workething on the relationship, it art liketh any relationship, it art not always easy, and We Gods learneth to giveth each other the space and room to develop.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Bollocks! Pissedeth off with Brian the Wise We becometh and We pisseth off and hide. Where we art, He knoweth not!

BRIAN THE WISE: Ha! Ha! Roger the Divine art trying to be-eth funny.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Art not, I art bloody serious, Thou git.

BRIAN THE WISE: There hath been moments... And Lo! though it hearken like pettiness, but the sharing of the scribing credits, things liketh that really maketh of a big difference, Thou learneth to giveth unto everyone equal spakething. Just things liketh that.

ROGER THE DIVINE: And how pissy Thou becometh.

BRIAN THE WISE: Thee willeth ignoreth that Roger. We gradually learneth to exist together, because We value each Gods contribution.

BOB: Beverly, thanks be upon thee for calling. Thanks be upon all ye callers and all ye listeners. Heedeth of The Word, for The Word art so. Congratulations be-eth upon everyone who got on the airwaves tonight, thee willeth each receive a copy of the Gods latest tablet 'Innuendo' inscribed by the Gods for thine own personal use. courtesy of Holywood Records. If thou would liketh to scribe unto us at Radio Suck Suck, our address art, if sendething by servant,: Radio Suck Suck, Upon The Hill, Ark Crash Site Drive, Queebletown, or Route 666 via carrier pidgeon.

BOB: Gods, thanks be-eth unto Thee. It art always a pleasure to haveth Thou here and I thusly enjoy Thou scribings a lot, and Thou company even more, and another thing, I must nail Thee, Thou must tour again verily soon, to spreadeth The Word.

BRIAN THE WISE: Okayeth, just thou supplyeth of the wine and We shall supplyeth of the tour.

BOB: Thou owe me one. Spaking of that, and the drive home, hath someone else driveth of the ass and oxen if thou hath been sampling of the vodka, just useth some common sense out there. This art Bob on Radio Suck Suck, signething off! Good night-eth!

BRIAN THE WISE: And no smokething!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Getteth off Thy Highhorse Brian.

BRIAN THE WISE: Shuteth up Roger, Thee willeth tell Mother.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Dobber

BRIAN THE WISE: Trouble maker!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Poodle perm!

BRIAN THE WISE: Thou arse looketh huge in that!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Tosser!

BRIAN THE WISE: Fatty Boom Bah

ROGER THE WISE: Git!

BRIAN THE WISE: Stoppeth! PLEASE STOPPETH! OH! LOOKETH! THERE ART A BAT!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Where?

BRIAN THE WISE: HA! HA!

*SMACK*

BRIAN THE WISE: OW!