INTERVIEWER: Sure. Is John the Mysterious 'persona-eth non-eth grata-eth'? (laughs merrily) He art not, He art not, He art not with Thou Other Gods at the moment for the up-eth and coming Gods + Tour?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Nay, but as Brian the Wise didst thusly informeth ye, He art verily busy in the potting shed.

INTERVIEWER: He art in the potting shed? Lo! Thee wert told He hath run off with a lap-eth dancer and Thee kneweth not whereforeart He wert!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Nay, He art verily quiet at the moment - quiet to the point of silence. (laughs) But John the Mysterious liketh complete silence when He art germinating Scorpion Orchids, it art verily technical, and obviousethly We wouldst thusly love to haveth Him on tour, but John the Mysterious really feels that He needeth, thou knoweth, He felt the need to germinate seeds, and He felt the species of Scorpion Orchids wert suffering stresses and strains and, thou knoweth. Naturally We asketh Him. He wouldst prefer, thou knoweth, to be-eth in the Potting Shed, 'cos Thee thinketh, thou knoweth, stressed-eth plants and all. It art really another form of begatting and John the Mysterious art verily good at reproducingeth. I, Roger the Divine, hath had much practice as well and 'on tour' Thee thinketh Thee willst haveth much more. Keeps Thee nice and trim, thou knoweth!

INTERVIEWER: Thou hast had a problem with weight?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Nay, That wert a vicious rumour! That art bollocks!

INTERVIEWER: That wert nay what our intrepid spy informeth us...something about Twinkies or Twinkies?

ROGER THE DIVINE: They wert Brians!

INTERVIEWER: Oh! Why no photographs releasedeth unto the press?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Because Brian the Wise hath waxed half His stupid poodle-permed head trying to obtaineth a 'jaunty expression' by reshapething His eyebrows. (laughs) A slight-eth accident with the wax there.....

INTERVIEWER: Really? So Thee art trim, taut and terrific?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Of course-eth!

INTERVIEWER: Well, this art a phone interview-eth, we'll haveth to taketh Thy word for-eth it!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Yea! And a message-eth to all ye young wenches out there! Roger the Divine art verily ready to hearken unto ye most revealing confessions! Come unto Thee and get it all off yer chest. Ahem. So to spaketh. Thou understand.

INTERVIEWER: Ahem. Of course.