LO! Radio Suck Suck haveth many phone in hearkeners askething about John the Mysterious.
"Whereforeart John the Mysterious" they crieth.
"Whatforeart about John the Mysterious" they asketh.
"Art He involveth with the Other Gods these days?" they demandeth to knoweth.
"Whatforeart art John the Mysterious doething this day?" they queryeth.

Well-eth, to answereth some of these questioneths, we spaketh unto Roger the Divine and Brian the Wise yesterdayeth and henceforthwith art The Holy Intervieweth:-

DJ BOB: Gods! Welcometh!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Thanks be-eth upon Thee Bob.
BRIAN THE WISE: Rock on with the Orbs!

DJ BOB: Huh-eth?

ROGER THE DIVINE: (embarrassedeth laugh)
BRIAN THE WISE: The Orbs art with us!

DJ BOB: Er-eth, yea! Roger the Divine, canst Thou telleth unto us, whereforeart John the Mysterious.

ROGER THE DIVINE: Great-eth question Bob! (laughs)
BRIAN THE WISE: Lo! These art verily difficulteth questions Bob?
Doth thou haveth easier ones?

DJ BOB: Er-eth... nay.

ROGER THE DIVINE: (laughs)

DJ BOB: We hath haveth of many enquiries from-eth our hearkeners...

ROGER THE DIVINE: Well-eth Bob, John the Mysterious art a mysteryeth unto Us.
BRIAN THE WISE: Yea! That art foreart why-eth He art nameth John the Mysterious!

DJ BOB: Oh-eth

ROGER THE DIVINE: AH-ETH !!! Thee hath ne'er knoweth this.
BRIAN THE WISE: Thou art a plonker Roger. Whyforeart else would He be-eth of the name Mysterious if He wert nay Mysterious?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Thee thinketh that Mother wert pissedeth.
BRIAN THE WISE: Nay! Whyforeart doth Thou thinketh that I, Brian the Wise, art nameth Brian the Wise?

ROGER THE DIVINE: Thee thought-eth it wert a joke-eth. Thou art as thick-eth as two short-eth planks so Thee thinketh Mother wert playething a joke upon Thee by namething Thee 'Wise'! (laughs)
BRIAN THE WISE: THAT ART NAY TRUE-ETH!!! THEE ART WISE!!!

ROGER THE DIVINE: Whate'er! (laughs)

DJ BOB: Er-eth, Thou hast nay really answereth thy question...er-eth, about John the Mysterious?

BRIAN THE WISE: Well-eth! John the Mysterious art verily involveth with Us from-eth afar.
He art involveth from a distance-eth ... er-eth ... mysteriousethly of course-eth.

ROGER THE DIVINE: (laughs)

DJ BOB: Er-eth, ok-eth, so whatforeart art He doing upon this day?

ROGER THE DIVINE: (laughs)

BRIAN THE WISE: He art at home.
ROGER THE DIVINE: In the shed.
BRIAN THE WISE: Out-eth in the backyard.
ROGER THE DIVINE: Doething of the secret things.
BRIAN THE WISE: Yea.
D J BOB: Whatforeart secret things?
ROGER THE DIVINE: Secret, mysterious things.
DJ BOB: Art He inventething of things?
BRIAN THE WISE: NAY! I, Brian the Wise, inventeth of all things.
DJ BOB: So what art 'secret things' then?
ROGER THE DIVINE: Secret, mysterious, Mysterious things.
BRIAN THE WISE: Yea.
DJ BOB: But what-eth?
ROGER THE DIVINE: We knoweth not, for-eth they art secret.
BRIAN THE WISE; And mysterious.
DJ BOB: And we art none the wiser.
BRIAN THE WISE; Nay, thou canst ne'er be-eth as wise as Thee.
DJ BOB: And ne'er as mysterious as John the Mysterious.
ROGER THE DIVINE: (laughs)
BRIAN THE WISE: Lo!
DJ BOB: Doth John the Mysterious haveth of a Web Blog?
BRIAN THE WISE: NAY!
ROGER THE DIVINE: NAY!
DJ BOB: Whoforeart doeth the I Am Not John the Mysterious Web Blog then?
ROGER THE DIVINE: (laughs) Thee knoweth not.
BRIAN THE WISE: Thee inventeth of Web Blogs
ROGER THE DIVINE: Thou didst not!
BRIAN THE WISE: Didst too!
ROGER THE DIVINE: John the Mysterious inventeth of them.
BRIAN THE WISE: Didst not!
DJ BOB: Art the secret revealeth?
BRIAN THE WISE: NAY!
ROGER THE DIVINE; It art still a mystery.
DJ BOB: Doth John the Mysterious approveth of what Thou art doing?
BRIAN THE WISE: YEA!
ROGER THE DIVINE: YEA!
DJ BOB: Whoforeart Queen Minus?
ROGER THE DIVINE: (laughs)
BRIAN THE WISE: Thee knoweth not. They art no-one. They art not important-eth. Q+PR art important-eth.
DJ BOB: And art it true that Thou art touring of Japaneth soon?
BRIAN THE WISE: YEA!
DJ BOB: Doth is cost a lot of money to put-eth on a big tour like-eth that?
BRIAN THE WISE: YEA!
ROGER THE DIVINE: (laughs)
DJ BOB: And wilst John the Mysterious be-eth upon that tour?
BRIAN THE WISE: We haveth asketh Him of course, We leaveth many messageths upon His answering machineth but there art nay reply. We still haveth ticketeths available.
DJ BOB: He needeth a ticketeth?

BRIAN THE WISE: Yea! We must doeth all by-eth the book of rules.
DJ BOB: Whoforeart scribeth the book of rules?
BRIAN THE WISE: It wert I, Brian the Wise. Tours doeth nay come-eth for free thou knoweth!
ROGER THE DIVINE: (laughs) And John the Mysterious art too bloody tight to spendeth the money.

DJ BOB: Well thanks be-eth upon Thee Roger the Divine and Brian the Wise for-eth thou time today.

BRIAN THE WISE: Rock on with the Orbs Bob!
DJ BOB: Huh-eth?
ROGER THE DIVINE: Ciao-eth Bob!