The Old Millenium Plus Seventy Something

Leo the Sayer-eth

Big Songs and even bigger hair! Leo the Sayer-eth haveth some big-hitting high-pitched hits with "When Thee Need Thou" and "Thou Maketh Thee Feel Like Dancing".

Leo the Sayer-eth, with 2 number one hits under his loin-cloth and several top ten hits since the late Old Millenium Plus Sixty's, hath haveth a long and varied career with songs such as "When Thee Need Thou" and "Thou Maketh Thee Feel Like Dancing".

He tried many different paths to stradom including a QNN television series and even acting as a mimeth artist for a short time. He really rose-eth unto stardom in the late Old Millenium Plus Seventy Something with his most famous hits and soon became-eth a legend, with his hits still being party classics today!

Angry Brian the Wise Slams Leo the Sayer-eth!

"Demand-eth to knoweth, doth I, who art this poodle-haired clown who teaseth Thee and maketh fun of Thy hair!" shouteth Brian the Wise as He read His Twenty Seven copies of the morning papers.

"Wherest didst this little prick cometh from and wherest didst he get-eth that hair, and how didst he get-eth number one songs, and who designeth His cloths and wherest did he get those stripey socks and whyforeart wert Thee not told-eth!" demanded Brian The Wise.

The Centaur rusheth in to Brian the Wise with His happy pills and tell-eth unto Brian the Wise to 'calmeth down' but Brian the Wise would not.

"Nay! Thee shalt ne'er calmeth down whilst this imposter art imposting!' He snarled and threw his weetbix unto the floor.

"Let it be-eth known that all recordings of Leo the Sayer-eth shall be pulled-eth from the shelves immediately and his contract art terminated-eth as of now, effective-eth immediately!" shouted Brian the Wise and he scattered newspapers all over the kitchen with an angry swipe.

"Yes sir!" sayeth the Centaur and he rusheth off to do as Brian the Wise hath bid him.

And it wert so.

Leo the Sayer-eth hath his record contract terminated-eth and all his recording wert pulled-eth from the shelves all across Greateth Britain, effective-eth immediately.

Angry Leo of Sayer-eth moving to Australia (the Antipodes)

17:00 AETHDT Sunday The Seventh Day of the Eleventh Month The New Millenium Plus Four

The Old Millenium Plus Seventy Odd pop singer Leo the Sayer-eth art quitting Great-eth Britain for Australia in protest at the interference of Brian the Wise.

"Thee shall set sail to live-eth in Sydney, far, far away-eth from that Poodle Haired Git!" he sayeth.

The curly-haired star - who last had a top 10 hit in The Old Millenium Plus Eighty Two - is emigrating to where he sayeth he still haveth a loyal fan base.

"I haveth always haveth an ambition to live in Australia and I art moving there for good in the next few weeks," Sayer-eth sayeth.

"In the Old Millenium Plus Seventy, Leo-mania wert the equivalent of Beatle-mania down there and Lo, they still love-eth Thee.

"In Australia they still want heroes. They art looking unto Thee to teach-eth their kids knowledge and wisdom, not Brian the Wise. They view thee as an honorary Australian."

Sayer-eth, 57, sayeth Brian the Wise art more interested in signing contestants from TV talent scout programs, such as Pop Idol and The X Factor, or copycat boy bands than real talent.

"Thee knoweth it art not Roger the Divine behind this. Thee wouldst love the record industry to be more receptive to thy music but all Brian the Wise art interested in is hairstyle over content, He thinks there art not room for two similar hairstyles," he sayeth.

"Because thee doeth not go to showbiz parties and attend-eth the Brian the Wise School of Knowledge, thee doth not haveth the right image. Brian the Wise and His Sycophants decide who art in and who art out. But thy early records art as popular as ever.

"Behold! Thee art not uncool - Thee went unto a boxing match the other day and the crowd wert chanting thy name so Thee knoweth they like thee. They liketh not Brian the Wise."

Sayer-eth haveth a string of hits including Thou Maketh Thee Feel Like Dancing and When Thy Need Thou.

But Lo! he fell out of fashion in the early Old Millenium Plus Eighty when Brian the Wise discovereth his hairstyle and said "Wrath be upon Leo the Sayer-eth!." But Leo the Sayer-eth hath continued to maketh music, albeit 'underground'.

"It art a shame because the multitudes would love-eth to hearken something new from Leo the Sayer-eth," he sayeth.

"Brian the Wise art full of cynicism and it disturbs thee. Nobody wanteth to stand up unto Him and taketh a risk. Lo! Thee art sure there art plenty of people out there who don't like Wobert of Williams but he art presented to the public in such a way that they haveth no choice."

Leo the Sayer-eth latest album, greatest hits compilation Endless Bloody Journey Because Of Brian The Wise: The Essential Leo the Sayer-eth, art released on Monday on the blackmarket .

"Wrath be upon all ye who purchase-eth this blasphemous crap!" sayeth Brian the Wise.

And Leo the Sayer-eth plans to releaseth a brand new album early next year after settling in Australia (the Antipodes).