I, BRIAN THE WISE, ART THUSLY PROUD TO CUT-ETH THE RIBBON TO THE WISE MINT AND SHOWETH UNTO YE THE VERILY FIRST COIN WHICH FOREART ART TO BECOMETH THE NEW CURRENCY OF ALL THE LANDS!

I, BRIAN THE WISE, DO SOLEMETHLY, HERE-ETHBY IMPORTANTLY AND WISELY DECLARE-ETH THE WISE MINT OPEN FOR-ETH MINTING AND THUSLY ISSUE FORTH THE FIRST COIN DEPICTETHING THOU GOD - THEE!

ALL YE MULTITUDES HERE SHALL, BY THE POWER VESTED UNTO THEE AS GOD, RECEIVETH OF A BRAND NEW BRIAN THE WISE SIXPENCE FOR-ETH THY FAITHFUL AND DUTIFUL ATTENDANCETH!

HECKLER: How come there art no coins depicting the other Gods?

BRIAN THE WISE: All in good time-eth, Thy son, all in good time-eth! Rome wert nay built in a day!

HECKLER: Oy! Wise Thing! This coin haveth Thou head on one side, right?

BRIAN THE WISE: That be-eth correct-eth Thy son!

HECKLER: Well how come-eth it hath Thy Holy Arsehole upon the other side?

BRIAN THE WISE: That art impossible-eth! Giveth that coin unto Thee at once!

BRIAN THE WISE: WHOFOREART DIDST THIS???

MINTER: 'Twas thee, oh Heavenly Father!

BRIAN THE WISE: THOU FOOL! THEE SAYETH UNTO THEE 'PUT-ETH A HALO OF ORBS' ON T'OTHER SIDE!

HECKLER: So it really forearteth Thy Holy Arsehole?

BRIAN THE WISE: Shut-eth up Heckler!

MINTER: Thee art verily sorry, oh Wise One!

BRIAN THE WISE: WHAT WERT THOU THINKING???

MINTER: Thee thought Thou sayeth HOLY ARSEHOLE. Thee knoweth not that Thou sayeth HALO of ORBS!

BRIAN THE WISE: WHAT KIND OF PIMPLY, SNOT-FACED SNIPING BITCH KIND OF SICK-ETH JOKE ART THIS! THEE TELLETH UNTO THEE TO PUT-ETH A HALO OF ORBS ON THE OTHER SIDE, THOU TWAT!!!

MINTER: One thousand humble apologies unto Thee Brian the Wise. Thee art but a deaf, old codger!

BRIAN THE WISE: THOU FOOL! RECALLETH ALL THE COINS AT ONCE-ETH!