So sad to hearken of the passing of Hugh "Boots" McArthur the derelict wino from bench number 57 in Hyde-eth Park.
Deepest condolences unto his brethen of tramps, hoboes and losers. Lo! His loss willst be felt deeply by coppers and pidgeons alike.
Knoweth, doth Thee, that "Boots" (as he wert affectionately known) haveth a hole in his shoe and yea, didst Thee not toss him a few coins whilst strolling through the park on a summers day?
Boots wert most grateful and didst worship Thee until the day he died. Poor Boots wert struck on the head whilst passed out on his Bench 57 by a fallen object.
And Lo! Thee wert in the park on that verily day!
Suddenly Thy camel took fright, at what Thee knoweth not, and didst shy and rear up and knocketh over a lamp post, and then didst thusly bolt.
Thee hungeth on for dear life!
Thee wert verily frightenedeth!
And it wert on Thy return trip, after Thee hath calmed Thy camel, that Thee came upon Boots surrounded by the multitudes there.
He wert dead.
Stone dead.
A lamp post hath fallen upon his head!
Alas, poor Boots.
Thee oft thought of him there, freezingeth in the park, with no blanket and no fire and no food in his belly.
But Lo, Thee wert happily to think that Thee, Brian the Wise and Kind, hath thrown him a few pennies so he haveth a nice bottle of wine to warmeth the cockles of his heart.
Rest-eth In Peace Boots.
Love Brian the Wise and Kind