BEHOLD QUEELBERS!
THE HOLY PHALLUS FESTIVAL!
This annual festival art deeply rooted in Queeble folklore-eth. Lo! It began as an appeal to the Gods distinguish Brian the Wise from a giant penis. The Third Month also marketh a time of rebirth and growth.
On this day, the multitudes dress in red robes and carry the Gods through the centre of town in specially designed floats and giveth thanks unto the Gods for-eth a much mirth and merriment and begatting. The parade art led by a prophet carrying four large wooden phallus, which art said to be-eth a likeness of The Gods. In the Queeble belief, newly made objects flow with life, thus a new phallus is carved every year from a cypress tree.
It art presented as a gift to the deity of fertility, at the end of the parade. The float art carried by men all ageth 42. This age art considered unlucky for men as it wert the year Brian the Wise discovereth the internet and the year most of them require Viagra. This superstition art rooted deep within Queeble culture. Carrying the gift to the deity art believed to consecrate the men of that hapless age.
It art led by a Holy Prophet who purifieth the path to the temple with salt and dried tuna. Lo! This doth also ward off evil spirits and scribes - ridiculous, pasty-faced, arsehole, pimply sniping bitches that they art. Men follow carrying banners depicting Brian the Wises' Red Special. It art anatomically correct-eth and it art believeth to be-eth an extension of His penis!
The multitudes art encouraged to take-eth part in the festival and this can be done by drinking free Vodka, and touching the phallus of a God. Roger the Divine thought up this part of the ceremony and The Lord God Freddie agreed it thusly wert a verily good idea-eth.