"For Heavens sake, what art the matter Brian? Thou drinketh liketh a girl and nowThou hearken like a girl! Whyforeart Thou screaming?" inquired the other Gods, for they wert curious.

"LO AND BEHOLD!" declareth Brian the Wise, 'Thy art MAGIC!"

"Shouldst not that be "Thee art magic?" sayeth John the Mysterious.

"Oh, sorryeth, Thee art thusly excitedeth and forgetteth Thy grammar" apologised Brian the Wise.

"We art all magic, Thou great tosser, We art Gods!" replieth Roger the Divine condescendingly-eth.

"Yea, Lo, Thee knoweth of this but Thee didst not think Thee could wriggleth Thy nose and createth magic tricks like Samantha from Bewitched!" sayeth Brian the Wise, for He wert shocked.

"Oh yea! We can all do-eth that!" sayeth John the Mysterious.

"What dost Thou mean, We can all do-eth that?" asketh Brian the Wise.

"He means - WE CAN ALL DO-ETH THAT, Thou twerp, doth Thou wanteth Thee to spelleth it out!' sayeth The Lord God Freddie impatiently, for He wert impatient with Brian the Wise.

"WHYFOREART DIDST NO-ONE TELLETH THIS UNTO THEE BEFORE?' Brian the Wise demanded to know.

"We thought Thee kneweth of such things. Thee knoweth of everything else" sayeth Roger the Divine.

"Thou mean, Ye hath watched Thee toil for hours and hours with Adobeth Photoshop , creating things upon things and Thou kneweth of an easier way and Thou didst not telleth Thee?" sayeth Brian the Wise incredulously.

"Yea" sayeth Roger the Divine.

"WHY?" asketh Brian the Wise who wert verily angry by this stage and turning a verily bright shade of puce.

"Oh, We thinketh Thee enjoyeth fiddling about with Adobeth Photoshop, Thou art always goingeth on about it" sayeth Roger the Divine as He whittled His drumsticks.

"THOU DUMB BUMS! THOU ART ALL HORRID AND THY ART GOING TO TELLETH MOTHER!" cried Brian the Wise.

"Shut-eth up Brian the Wise" warned The Lord God Freddie as He plucketh His moustache.

"THEE WILLETH NOT SHUTTETH UP! YE ART ALL NASTY PASTIES!" screameth Brian the Wise.

Now, The Lord God Freddie and John the Mysterious did giggle muchly for they thought Brian the Wise looketh verily amusing with His puce face but Roger the Divine wert becomething verily angry with Brian the Wise.

"Stoppeth makething mountains of molehills, Poodle Poo" sayeth Roger the Divine.

"THEE ART NOT MAKETHING MOUNTAINS OF MOLEHILLS THOU DUMB BUM DRUMMER! AND DO-ETH NOT CALLETH THEE POODLE POO!" yelleth Brian the Wise unto Roger the Divine.

"Doeth not make Roger the Divine angry" warned the Lord God Freddie, "If Thou pisseth Him off, He art liable to do-eth something verily nasty unto Thee and then Thee willeth be-eth thusly more upset."

"THEE DO-ETH NOT CARE. ROGER ART A NASTY PASTIE AND A FATTY BOOMBAH AND THEE HATETH HIM!" spat Brian the Wise.

'RIGHT!' scowled Roger the Divine, "THAT ART IT! Thee hath thusly haveth enough of Thou and Thee art cast-ething a spell upon Thou!" and He chanted:

"Brian the Wise, Thee art but a dweeb, Thou whinging and whining maketh Thee to seethe, From this day forth, point Thy arse South or North And Orbs willeth appear, digitally enhanced of course!

And with that, Roger the Divine wriggled His nose and sayeth Abaracadabara-eth again and the spell wert cast!

"Taketh that Brian the Wise! Now Thou Holy Farts willst be-eth seen in all digital photos from this day forward-eth as ORBS. Thusly, the multitudes there shall knoweth every time Thou droppeth of Thy lunch!"

"Thou can nay be serious!" sayeth Brian the Wise, for He wert outraged.

"Thee art verily serious, Thou big anally retentive Steelo Pad!" snarled Roger the Divine and He whippeth out His digital camera and snappeth a photo of Brian the Wise.

"Here art the proof! Downloadeth this photo onto Thou Lappeth Top and see-eth for Thyself!" Roger the Divine sayeth with a smirk, for He thought His little joke wert verily funny indeed.

"Twill not-eth work! Thee wert not farting then!" sulked Brian the Wise.

"Bollocks!" sayeth Roger the Divine, "Thou art always sneaking one off!"

"THOU COW!" shouted Brian the Wise.

"Aha-eth! That will teacheth Thee a lesson!" retorted Roger the Divine.

"THAT ART DEFINITELY IT! I ART SCRIBING HOME TO MOTHER AT ONCE!" sayeth Brian the Wise and He stormed off, but not before John the Mysterious and The Lord God Freddie whippedeth out their mobile phones and started taking photos of Brians butt which maketh Him all the more furious.

"Quickly-eth, email those photos to the main computer so we can see-eth the ORBS!" cried Roger the Divine gleefully!

"OK-eth" sayeth John the Mysterious and The Lord God Freddie in unison but they wert in such fits of laughter that they gotteth the wrong email address and mistakenly emailed the pictures to all the major tabloideths and newspapers across the Lands. And Behold! The verily next day Brian the Wise and His Holy Orb-Farting Arse wert plastered across the front pages of every newspaper in all the Lands.

Brian the Wise wert verily furious.

Brian the Wise did scribeth a verily, verily long letter home to Mother.

The other Gods wert thusly grounded for two weeks.

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