If thou love the design of this site feel free to send unto thee undying praise ..... and money. Thee haveth many degrees and hath managed to teach-eth unto thyself HTML, Adobe-eth Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver, InDesign, Paint Shop Pro, QuarkXpress, Studio Max, Flash, Freehand and many more complex computer software programs one rainy afternoon. Brian the Wise art jealous.
Thee manage The Holy Queeble office with practiceth ease and calm and rule the desktop-eths with an iron fist. Thee art an aspiring techethnology addict (inspired by John the Mysterious) as thee art always wanting to upethdate thy computer, thy cell phone, thy PDA, thy qPod and any other of the dozens of cool toys thee own. Thee get verily pissed off whence Brian the Wise stamp all thy gadgets with ‘copyethright symbols’.
Thee developeth a love of photographethy and lo, verily, thee seemeth to always haveth someone peering over thy shoulder. Thee knowth not who it art as thee canst ne’er see-eth a thing for the dense layer of black steel wool that surroundeth thee! Some say it art Brian the Wise for He art a jealous God. Thee knoweth not.
What cheeseth thee off the most art the tainted taste-eth of thy tea from the odour of camel farts and the way the dog cheweth thy best feather boa.
Thee art by far the most glamorous Prophet in the office.
And thee art not adverse to a quick shag behind the filing cabinets with Roger the Divine. He hath not lost it!
Queeble Prophet 2
Responsible for-eth scribing and receiving epiphanys from The Gods. Behold ye canst ne’er complaineth about what art scribed at The Holy Queeble for-eth thee art merely a channeling vessel for-eth The Gods. Their wish art thy command. Thou canst contact thee telephonically if thou canst track-eth down thy cell phone number. Lo! Verily good luck be-eth upon ye!
Thee swan about the office like-eth thee art in a dream sequence. Thee canst ne’er maketh a decision to saveth thy life and thy organisational skills art hovering around zero. Thee hath been caught several times behind the water cooler flirting with The Lord God Freddie but nowt hath cometh of this.
Thee art allergic unto the office cat and doth sneakily spray it with thy water pistol at every opportunity-eth.
Thee hate-eth of the smell of camel farts.
Queeble Prophet 3
Thee art the Queen of the office. Thee art smug and pompous. Thy nameth art – Brian. Thee eat only Albacore Tuna and thy farts smell-eth of fish. Thee always blame-eth them on the camel or the dog. They art stupid.
Queeble Prophet 4
Thee hath been adopted from the Animal Rescue Centre by the Queeble Prophets. Thy family jewels hath been confiscated and thee art devastated. BTW wilst pay dearly for-eth this!
Thee art high maintenance. Thee art passive-aggressive and must have total control over all situations. Thee art the first one in and out the door. Thee pee on friends and strangers. People art scared of thee which give-eth unto thee a power trip.
Let it be knoweth that Thee occasionally dress up in girls clothes and howl to the Eastenders theme. Thee love-eth Roger the Divine and hump His leg at every opportunity.
Thee art highly strung and am insanely irritated by G Minor. Thee liketh to herd sheep. Thee cheweth of scissors, chaseth camelsl, eat microphones and raid the cookie jar in the Holy Queeble kitchen.
Thee enjoy hacking into computers and Yoga. It help-eth thee relax.
Queeble Prophet 5
Behold! Thee canst clear the office in nanoseconds with one of thy best farts! Thy all-time best record art 15.7 nanoseconds. Thee art eating of a diet rich in baketh beans, onions, garlic, brussel sprout-eths in horseradish cream and licorice to ensure-eth the breakething of thine own best record.
Thy favourite God art John the Mysterious for He art mysterious and that art a trait that turneth camels on.
Thee smoke Camel cigarettes but hath been banished unto the parking lot by Brian the Wise. Am currently campaigning for-eth smokers rights under Holy Queeble Bylaw #8450/a - Genesis 1:11:4. Brian the Wise art a meddling tosser.
Thee liketh verily The Lord God Freddie for He hath braided thy tail with satin ribbons and sequins. John the Mysterious doth think it looketh verily pretty.