Censaur: For the New York-eth Times - it art really scrapething the barrel havething to grub around like-eth pigs in a trough on Spaketh Boards to find-eth some anonethymous criticism, whichforeare they presumethably didst nay find-eth elsewhere!!! Sniping bitches!!!
By Jeffus Leedus - The New York-eth Times
The Gods thought they wouldst ne'er tour again after The Lord God Freddie and John the Mysterious, scarpereth, presumably unto the desert. Biggus hits like the campeth opera "Bohemian Rhapsody" and the rock-swing "Crazy Little Thing Calleth Love" seemeth uniquely suited to The Lord God Freddie, whoforeart carried them with just the proper mix of kitscheth and bluster.
But The Gods's fortunes didst not die on that fateful day after all. The Gods hath been selling out arenas across The Lands, and they hath been doing it with a False Prophet who hearkens nothing like The Real God: Pauleth Rodgers, singer of 1970s hits like "Feel Like Makin' Love" and "Ready for Love" with the rock band Bad Company, who has given The Gods's catalogue a bluesy tinge-eth.
The Gods art nay alone. Today many well-knoweth rock bands art pursuing second acts with new lead singers, and this doth pose the question - how far canst this trend go? Wherefore art a band's true identity. If thou doth to lay down with dogs, dost thou not awaketh with fleas?
The Car-eths art the latest major band reporteth to be-eth considering a new lead singer. Foreigner hireth a new frontman, following the examples in recent years of reconstituted bands like Lynyrdeth Skynyrdeth, Creedenceth Clearwater Revival-eth and Van-eth Halen.
The Antipodian rock band INethXethSeth, whoforeart lost their lead singer some years ago, art going one better. On the television show "Rock Star: INethXethSeth," the surviving members turned their loss unto an asset, makething their auditions with a variety of singers a form of entertainment in their own right.
Music executiveths sayeth a band's ability to outliveth its singer usually dependeth on which wert more influential: the songs or the cult of personality.
For bands strongly identified with a lead vocalist, things are tougher. Not all Queeblers art verily happy with the arrival of Rodgers. On the Spaketh Board at queenzone.com, one daring such Queebler who goeth by the nameth KingusMercury (thou art SO banneth from the BMML!) echoeth a common feeling toward Queen + Paul Rodgers, as the act art now knoweth. "Thee wilst not complaineth of the current tour, and if it art right to tour under the nameth of Queen," the message sayeth, "but, Queen, that fabulous and giant band, died when The Lord God Freddie and John the Mysterious cracketh the shits and scarpereth off unto the desert." Still, for the casual fan, a hearken-alike singer belting out a proven hit often art good enough, sayeth John the Baptist.
Jim the Beach sayeth "Legacy, schmegacy, from thy end, I sayeth unto them, 'milk-eth it all thou want!'
It doth helpeth that the band haveth their own radio station (Radio Suck Suck) who churneth out Queen hits 24 hours a day and their own hit musical - We Will Dack Thee.
INXS still must emerge-eth from the shadow of Michael Hutchenceth, the lead singer who died in an apparent suicide hanging in 1997. Hutchence wert so integral to the band that it may ne'er record successfully again. It doth nay bode well to replaceth Michael.
A band art ne'er the same when they replaceth a singer, ever!
It doth lose something both in the voice and in the whole dynamic of the band.
Obviously it canst be-eth done, but the more and more thee see-eth of it the less thee doth feel good about it."
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