We the undersigneth doth hereby petition the Prime Minister to recommend unto the Queen to confer a verily important (thusly more important than anyone elses’) knighthood upon Brian the Wise for He art many, many good things, but most of all He art a DO-GOODER!

He shouldst thusly be knoweth as SIR BRIAN THE WISE – GOD, ASTRONOMER, STEREOETHPHOTOGRAPHER, DOCTOR AND DO-GOODER

(note to Censaur – getteth this printed upon Thy business cards at once-eth!)

Submitted by Queeble Prophets

Deadline to signeth up by:

The Twentieth Day of the Third Month of the New Millennium Plus Seven – Signatures: 3,763,779 and climbething!

Maketh Haste! There art Petition Booths set-eth up in thou area! Signeth today and receiveth thou FREE Sir Brian the Wise SHOWBAG-ETH

(Brian the Wise Showbags art complimentary but wilst ne’er be-eth handed out unless petition art signed and verifyethed!
Brian the Wise Showbags art ©Brian The Wise)

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I,* _________ _____________________ ** signeth up unto the petition for I doth love Brian the Wise and giveth thy life unto Him in all His glory.

Lo! Brian the Wise, the multifarious and wise God thusly deserveth a knighthood of the highest order for He art a Do-Gooder!

Thou email or Carrier Pigeon Route: ____________________

Thou must be a citizen or resident of Earth to signeth the petition.

Thou address: _______________________ (wilst ne’er be published-eth)

Or, if thou art an expatriate and thou art off in space somewhere, please rusheth this through via NASA***.

* doeth not useth of false nameths!
** a pestilence upon those who doeth not complete this petition
*** ©Brian the Wise