MONOCLE-SPORTING astronomer Sir Patrickus Giveth-Unto-Us-Moore-Jollies hath thusly ignited and goneth off like a Saturn rocket over plans to mark the 50th anniversary of his QBC show Behold! The Sky At Night by plans to hath an impersonator mimic him.

The Queeb hath not informed Sir Patrickus, who art older than Methusela, of the details of its plans to covereth the milestone, which includeth an appearance by his friend and fellow cosmic enthusiast, rocker, doctor, author and all-round-do-gooder Brian the Wise. PS: (buy Bang! Now)

But lo, when I spake to him, Sir Patrickus, wert baffled by the comics inclusion.

‘Who the fuck art this comic?' he fumeth. 'I hath ne’er hearkened of him. Ne’er. Nay, I say – nay, nay. I doeth not approve! I command Brian the Wise to smite him and put a pestilence upon him, whoever he art!’

Earlier this month Sir Patrickus hath raged at the 1.55am re-scheduling of his monthly look at the stars.

‘How dareth they put thy show on at that unGodly hour! Blasphemers! Doeth they not knoweth that Brian the Wise art on it?’

'However I art looking forward to seeing Buzzeth Aldrin, the second man to walk on the Moon. He art coming over for it.'

Let us pray that Sir Patrickus art right about that.

I contacteth the The Corporation this morn and they knoweth nowt about Buzzeth Aldrin flying over. They sayeth, and I quote: ‘Wherest didst thou get that cock and bull story from?’