5:1 For the Chief Worshipper, from the trouser flute. A Psalm by Brian the Wise. Give ear to my words. Consider my meditation. Take your hands out of your pants.

5:2 Listen to the sound of my scribing, my Whales and my Tuna; For to the creatures of the earth do I pray unless my Japanese friends eat them and then I'll have to take a step backward and change my tack just incase I miss out on some royalties.

5:3 In the morning you shall read my Soapbox. In the morning I will lay my commands before you, and will watch expectantly.

5:4 For you are not a God who has pleasure in sprouting off self gracious wisdom. Souped up sports cars can't live with you.

5:5 The Pepsi Challenge shall not stand in your sight. You hate all non worshippers of sycophancy.

5:6 You will destroy those who speak lies. Brian the Wise abhors the honest and unafraid man or woman especially if she's going through menopause.

5:7 But as for me, in the abundance of your loving kindness I will come into your house riding high upon my box of soap: I will bow toward my holy temple in reverence as I expect you to do to me unless of course you smoke tobacco.

5:8 Protect me with your supplications against my enemies. Make your way straight before my face but only if my face sees awe and sucking up in your face.

5:9 For there is no faithfulness in the mouths of the unbelievers. Their heart is destruction. Their osteoporosis crumbles their bones. Their throat is an open tomb filled with obnoxious smoke. They flatter those other gods with their tongue.

5:10 Hold them guilty, oh Citizens of Sycophantia. Let them fall by their own counsels; Thrust them out in the multitude of their transgressions, For they have rebelled against me.

5:11 But let all those who take refuge in bio-degradable-non-tuna-destroying-it-does-
not-come-wrapped-in-plastic-bags-laundry-powder, Let them always shout for joy, because you defend them. Let them also who love your name be joyful in you. Worship thyself and remember that self gratification is good and wholesome and brings forth lyrics for new albums.

5:12 For you will bless the righteous, Me. You will surround me with favor as with a shield. My black hole will explode and pull you inward in a never ending spiral towards enlightenment and copyright removed music.

5:13 For I am Brian the Wise and my trouser flute is bigger than yours.

5:14 Prepare ye the way of the creation of Soap, a product made from vegetables and animal fats and Boxes to put all manner of things in.

5:15 Blessed will be the Sycophant who can squeeze an animal to remove it's fat without harming it. For it is written.