19:1 The two Well Hung Studs came to Garden Lodge at evening. Lord God Freddie Mercury sat in the gate of Garden Lodge. Lord God Freddie Mercury saw them, and rose up to meet them. He bowed himself with his face to the earth,

19:2 and he said, "See now, my stud muffins, please turn aside into your servant's house, stay all night, kick off your shoes, wash your feet, pour yourself a glass of God Nectar and you will rise up earlier than you think, and go on your way." They said, "No, but we will stay in the street all night because there were some friends of ours working the corner in stilletos."

19:3 He urged them greatly, and they came in with him, and entered into his house through his backdoor. He made them a feast, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.

19:4 But before they lay down and got dirty, the men of the city, the men of Garden Lodge, surrounded the house, both young and old, all the people from every quarter.

19:5 They called to Lord God Freddie Mercury, and said to him, "Where are the men who came in to you this night? Bring them out to us, that we may have sex with them."

19:6 Lord God Freddie Mercury went out to them to the door, and shut the door after him.

19:7 He said, "Please, my brothers, don't act so wickedly. You'll get your share after I've had mine. Now piss off and play with your daffodils until I'm ready.

19:8 See now, I have two virgin groupies. Please let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them what seems good to you. Only don't do anything to these men, because they have come under the shadow of my roof and I intend to make them come out of the shadows too."

19:9 They said, "Stand back!" They said, "This one fellow came in to live as a foreigner, and he appoints himself a taxi driver from Pakistani. Now will we deal worse with you, than with them!" They pressed hard on the Lord God Freddie Mercury, and drew near to break the door but he held them off with his acid tongue. "Bugger off Tarts!" he decreed and poked out his Lord Like tongue.

19:10 But the stud muffins put forth their hand, and brought Lord God Freddie Mercury into the house to them, and shut the door.

19:11 They struck the men who were at the door of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they wearied themselves to find the door and fell arse over tit over the garden gnomes Roger the Divine had previously brought to the Lodge as some sort of present.

19:12 The stud muffins said to Lord God Freddie Mercury, "Do you have anybody else here? roadies-in-law, your managers, your groupies, and whoever you have in the city, bring them out of the place:

19:13 for we will destroy this place, because the outcry against them has grown great before Cliff Richard that Cliff Richard has sent us to destroy it."

19:14 Lord God Freddie Mercury went out, and spoke to his roadies-in-law, who were pledged to marry his groupies, and said, "Get up! Get out of this place, for Cliff Richard will destroy the city." But he seemed to his roadies-in-law to be joking because they laughed and said "Pisseth Orf".

19:15 When the morning came, then the Well Hung Studs hurried Lord God Freddie Mercury, saying, "Get up! Take your bum buddy, and your two groupies who are here, lest you be consumed in the iniquity of the city."

19:16 But he lingered; and the stud muffins grabbed his hand, his bum buddy's hand, and his two groupies' hands, Cliff Richard being merciful to him; and they started singing joyously of all things bright and beautiful, and set him outside of the city.

19:17 It came to pass, when they had taken them out, that the Stud Muffin Number 2 said, "Escape for your life! Don't look behind you, and don't stay anywhere in the plain. Escape to the mountains, lest you be consumed!"

19:18 Lord God Freddie Mercury said to them, "Oh, don't be silly twats, my lords.

19:19 See now, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have magnified your loving kindness, which you have shown to me in saving my life. I can't escape to the mountain, lest evil overtake me, and I put holes in my lycra stockings on the bramble bushes.

19:20 See now, this city is near to flee to, and it is a little one. Oh let me escape there (isn't it a little one?), and my soul will live and I'll ring you both in the morning."

19:21 Stud Muffin Number 1 said to him, "Behold, I have granted your request concerning this thing also, that I will not overthrow the city of which you have spoken.

19:22 Hurry, escape there, for I can't do anything until you get there."

19:23 The sun had risen on the earth when Lord God Freddie Mercury came to the city.

19:24 Then Cliff Richard rained on Garden Lodge and on Studio 57 itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikinis and really bad beach songs from his wardrobe out of the sky.

19:25 He overthrew those cities, all the plain, all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew on the ground.

19:26 But The Lord God Freddie Mercury's bum buddy looked back from behind him, and became a pillar of salt. "Oh Shit" cried the Bum Buddy, "and here's me thinking it just made you go blind".

19:27 John the Mysterious got up early in the morning to the place where he had stood before Cliff Richard and said "You really overdid the pure and wholesome thing this time Cliffy"

19:28 He looked toward Garden Lodge and Studio 57, and toward all the land of the plain, and looked, and saw that the smoke of the land went up as the smoke of a nasty rolled up piece of tobacco does when someone consumes it in front of Brian The Wise.

19:29 Lord God Freddie Mercury went up out of city, and lived in the mountain, and his two groupies with him; for he was afraid to live in the city. He lived in a cave with his two groupies and occasionally was visited by John the Mysterious for begatting purposes.

19:30 He was also occasionally visited by Roger the Divine for begatting purposes.

19:31 He was also occasionally visited by Brian the Wise for the purpose of begatting only so he could purge himself in song afterwards.