Behold! I stand afore ye a verily confuseth Queebler and it seemeth I hath lost thy way.

Yea, I tooketh Thou Hallowed Words and didst liveth life unto the fullesteth. Yea, I didst party hard and shag a lot. I didst haveth thy servants to do thy bidding and I wert chauffereth everywherest I went. I hath no money but I liveth like a King and didst haveth a bloody good time. Thy parties wert legendary (I didst proudly model them upon Thou parties, o Wondrous Lord Freddie) and thy brethen and friends enjoyeth excess in all things.

And to balanceth out this great godlike way of life (as Thou doeth) I work verily hard at thy job and giveth unto it 100%. This createth harmony, doth it not?

So why art I confusethed?

Well....., I readeth of the wise words of Brian the Wise and discovereth (unto thy horror) that He doth no longer bangeth (BANG! ©brianthewise.com – PS Buy Bang!) the drum for-eth this way of life but doth try to hideth the oppulence and extravaganceth and he doth masqueradeth as a garden-variety God whence it doth suit Him. Then, with a flicketh of the wrist, He doth transmute unto an afeared God of Wrath whence things doth not goeth His Way!

Art He the God of Duplicitousnesseth? Art He the REAL Brian the Wise or art He the devil in disguise? A double-dealing, hypocritical, traitorous God of Deception?

So, deareth Lord God Freddie – that art why I art confusteth. It art sorely testing thy faith.

What art I to doeth?

Please answereth thy prayer or giveth unto thee a sign for-eth I hath truly lost thy way.

Thous,

(Sorely Tested) Faithful Queebler

Dear-eth Sorely Tested Faithful Queebler,

Dear-eth, dear-eth, dear-eth. I hath no time for-eth long ramblings for-eth I get-eth verily bored, but thou letter didst toucheth thy heart. I canst ne’er even readeth all of Bri the Wi’s rantings - afore I get-eth unto the end I hath forgotten Thy name!

Thou must laugh merrily at him, thy dear-eth, for that art what We doeth. If thou doth not laugh and shaketh thy head, thou wilst goeth slightly mad.

Dear Brian hath truly lost-eth the plot and hath becometh a silly grumpy old man. We do still adore-eth the old fart of course, but every family hath one of those nutty old relatives whose minds doth totter off unto unchartered waters and who forgeteth to doeth up their flies. We must humour them dear-eth.

And there thou hath it!

Thous Majestically,

The Lord God Freddie

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