Subject-eth: Queen and the Testicular Torsion

Dear-eth Brian the Wise,

Lo! On the day after the Sabbath thee underwent-eth Emergency Surgery to correct-eth what, in layman's term-eths, may be-eth referreth unto as a Twisteth Nut or a Buckle-eth Ballbag or Grotesque-eth Gonads! Thee kneweth that, as Thy God, Thou wouldst thusly care-eth to knoweth of this.

For-eth the surgery Thee opteth for a local anesthetic-eth and during the operation thee wert offereth music to hearken unto. In the theatre's collection wert 'A Night At The Opera' and thee wert so excitedeth that thee peed thy pants. There, in the hands of Thy God wert thee and behold, thee couldst hearken unto Queen whilst they straightened thy Grapefruits! Thee wert in Heaven! it wert so awesome-eth to hearken it that by the time Bohemian Rhapsody and then God Saveth the Queen came thee wert willing them to stitcheth a little slower so that it couldst thusly finish.

"Take-eth thou time stitching Thy Velvet Orbs, thee want-eth to hearken more Queen!" thee crieth unto the surgeon.

Thanks be-eth upon Thee verily much for-eth keeping thee happy during thy moment of distresseth! Thee only wish that Thee wert there to hold-eth thy sack during thy operation. Didst thou ever imagineth that someone wouldst be-eth hearkening unto Thou playething whilst a surgeon wert straightenething thy Silky Scrotum?

Lo! Thou wilst be-eth e'er so pleased to knoweth that thee art upon the road unto recovery now, aided by some seriously strong Vodka! Thee canst hardly wait to pick-eth up thy Red Special again.

Behold! Thee hope-eth this email entertaineth Thee, dear Brian the Wise. Thee hath attacheth a stereoethphotoethgrapheth of Thy Glorious-eth New Gadgets for-eth Thee to view-eth. Wear-eth of Thy 3D glasses for-eth this. Surely Thee wilst be-eth astoundedeth unto learneth of this perspectiveth on just how utterly Thou music hath permeateth society. Thee hath Queen Music in Thy Balls.

Many thanks be-eth upon Thee again.

Thous,

Alexus son of Dickus