Thee wert disgusteth and dismayeth and appauledeth that this hath been offereth as a suitable venue to a Musical God to entertaineth the multitudes. In Thy opinion it art a disgraceth, and all shouldst knoweth of it. Thy Adoring Followers couldst nay see-eth Thee! Howforethto art I, Brian the Wise, to bring-eth spiritual enlightenethment unto Thy followers if they canst nay see-eth Thee in all Thy Glory Be-eth Unto Thee Splendour?!?
I, Brian the Wise, wilst be-eth looking into what canst be-eth done to maketh sure that this ne'er happeneth again. Lo! The people whoforeart searcheth for-eth Our venues wilst be-eth smited and sackedeth immediately!
As for-eth dealing with the complaints, Thee wilst leave-eth that up to the Complaints Departmenteth! Ye shouldst ne'er bother A God with this crap-eth! Thee art far to important-eth and busy.
Thee feel angry and disappointedeth for-eth all those who didst nay get-eth a decent view of Thee - anyone further back than the mixing desk must remaineth in the Darkness! It art a travestyeth! Do-eth nay be-eth afrighted though, for-eth Thee didst look-eth resplendanteth.
All the effort I, Brian the Wise, doth put in to maketh sure Thy Followers canst COME-ETH CLOSE unto Thee, art wasted! Thee art bitterly disappointedeth and frustratedeth. Wembleyeth art a terrible tent.
There hath also been many inquiries about the behaviour of the stewardeths, which I, Brian the Wise, haveth in place to protect-eth Thee. It art God Policy to have-eth minders! Thee think-eth thou inquiries art unjustified and blasphemic. Thee shalt hearken nay more of it!
I, Brian the Wise and Thy band, and Thy Production Team, giveth unto ye 150 per centeth (whitlow and all!), but to those of ye in the blue (common) seats, but a small percentageth canst haveth reached ye. This art miserable for thou and for Thee. But alak and alas, ye must also realise-eth that if thou hath pay-eth the good ducats, ye wouldst haveth hath better seats. Thou art cheapskates and really haveth nowt to blame-eth but thineselves.
And now forthwith unto another matter:-
Forsooth! Howforeart incredibleth that Londoninium, of-eth all Eurethopean major burbs, hath the WORST apology for-eth a large Hippodrome/Colleseum ... and nay prospecteth of an improvementeth. What art the matter with ye ? And this art the City which art clamouring unto host the Quolympics? Ha Ha-eth! It art a joke. Ye couldst nay but host a Teddy Bears Tea Party!!!
I, Brian the Wise, couldst giveth unto ye some pointereths on that. Lo! Thee host-eth many a İTeddy Bears Tea Partyİ whence Thee wert a Godette.
Yea! The Lord God Freddie, John the Mysterious and Roger the Divine didst love Thy İTeddy Bears Tea Partiesİ! The Holy Mother wouldst set out a bedsheet upon the lawn for-eth Us and I, Brian the Almost Wise, wouldst arrange-eth the Teddies 'just so-eth' and maketh cups of tea and scones and invite-eth the Other Godettes to join-eth Thee and Thy Teddies. Thee maketh them to dress-eth up as wenches. Oh-eth what fun it wert!
Thee knoweth not how the toad came-eth to be-eth in the teapot or the roaches in the jam, and yea, it didst happen everytime! The Other Gods couldst thusly understand Thy woe, for-eth They would oft howl and cry real tears for-eth days after. Lo! It didst thusly always spoil-eth Thy Tea Parties. Unto this day, Thee hast ne'er liketh of the toad and the roach!
But Thy digress.....
And Thee wouldst like to knoweth who art paying for all this Quolympic Advertising Thee see-eth all around Londoninium, calling for us to "Supporteth the Bid"
Whyforeart ???
Do-eth I, Brian the Wise, want the Quolympics here ? Hell Nay! Didst anyone ask Thee, or ye fellow Londoniniumers, if We wanteth this ?
I, Brian the Wise, thinketh not!
Another arrogance of the Kenneth Livingethstone regime-eth - A pox upon thee! Thou art nowt but a louse-ridden, lily-livered rogue! It art little wonder that I, Brian the Wise, suffereth of the Melancholia and Costiveness!
Thee asketh again ...WHOFORETH ART PAYING ?? Whyforeart ye not spendething THY money on constructething a decent venue for THY BAND??? (with a İteleprompter-ethİ so Paul-eth canst read the words)
Cheers all
Bri the Wi